In time for, and in light of tonight's open mic night at Serda's Coffee House, I am frantically preparing "The Bum Suite. "
I woke up with $5.23, after playing at the "New York Hi Style" spot, for maybe a couple of hours, last evening. My expenditures for the entire day were for 2 Earthquake Lagers, and 1 Steel Reserve 211 Lager, and one Bud Ice. ($4.14)
I ate turkey hot dogs with pickles and an energy drink, for those keeping track.
I am procrastinating upon Dr. Christopher's 3 day fast and cleanse and mucous free diet.
The Bum Suite in G major
intro: G, B7, C, A7, D7
No, I aint got nothing for the bums
who sit in the park all day, on their thumbs
They've got life all planned out, they're just gonna stand out, with their hand out
Ain't it grand out here..in the great outdoors
Hey guitar man...let me have a buck
It'll give you good karma.. It will bring you good luck.
It's gonna come right back to you, the Lord, He will provide
But this monkey on my back, you know; won't Be satisfied
So, Break bread, guitar man; break it 'till you're broke
You'll come to see that we ain't such bad folk
We're just pitifully poor, hungry, thirsty, half-naked
So give us a beer, don't make us have to take it
No, I ain't got nothin for the bums
that sit in the park all day, on their thumbs
They've got life all planned out, they're just gonna stand out with their hand out
and wait for a hand out, ain't it grand out, here in the Great Outdoors
I try to keep my distance, but I can hear them holler
Hey guitar man, come here, are you doing alright? That's good; let me get a dollar
Oh, I'm thinking of just avoiding the parks all together....(segue).......
Yeah, Im thinking of just avoiding the parks all together...(segue)....
((Sung to the tune of "Here Comes The Sun," by The Beatles))
Bienville Park, yeah...It's been a long, hard working day...
Bienville Park yeah...I come here just to get away...but
Here come the bums, do n do do
Here come the bums, and I say "It's not alright.."
Spanish Park, yeah...They smile as I turn into their spaces
Spanish Park, yeah...They ask for beer, as I draw near
Here come the bums do n do do
Here come the bums, and I say "It's not alright..."
Bums, bums, bums, here they come
Bums, bums, bums, here they come (interlude)
Cathedral Park, yeah...I see their ice is slowly melting
Cathedral Park, yeah...It seems that soon, they'll have warm beer
Here come the bums, do n do do
Here come the bums (we need ice, man) It's not alright....
Bums, bums, bums...here they come .......(segue)......
Some of them, I swear to thee; have got no brains at all
They'll steal your underwear off a tree...crap stains and all
I'm getting so when I see them, I try to duck
before they ask me for my lighter, a cigarette, or a buck
I realise that you get your check on the first
I understand you're about to die of thirst
There's no doubt in my mind that you'll pay me back ten fold
I'm sorry to hear that your food stamps have already...been sold
So I ain't got nothin, I'm sorry...but wait...I've got an idea! Why don't you collect up aluminum and cash it in, down by the Exxon station...like The Can Man....(segue)
(Sung to the tune of "The Candyman," by Sammy Davis Jr.))
Who can make some change flow...
To pay for his own beer...
He doesn't have a job, but then, he doesn't have a fear
He's the Can Man...Yeah, the Can Man can....
The Can Man can, 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good
The Can Man takes aluminum and makes
A trip upon his bi-cycle, oh
and brings them to be re-cycled
I think that his name is Michael
Who can take your drained ones...
-crush them on the ground....
put them in his bag 'til he's collected up a pound
The Can Man; yeah the Can Man can
The Can man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good
The Can man takes...empty cans and makes
a little bit of dough out of it
The environmentalists, they love it
Don't ever think that you're above it...
oh...He picks up aluminum....copper, tin and brass...
You could do the same if you would get up off your ass..
The Can Man....Yeah, the Can Man can...
The Can Man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good..
The Can man takes every cent he makes,
and satisfies all his wishes
oh, you talk him down, all childish and vicious
I think that he's ambitious
Well, Who can make some change flow,
To pay for his own beer
Doesn't have a job, but then, he doesn't have a fear
The Can Man, yeah the Can Man can
The Can Man can 'cause he pick up shit with love and makes the world look good
The Can Man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good....(jam)..you might want to consider it....Because....
'Cause, I aint got nothing for you bums
who sit in the park all day, on your thumbs
If I had any less, I would be penny less,
If I give you any more, I won't have anymore
(improv, fade, end)