Hubert's Trip Lyrics In Progress

Hubert's Trip
Hubert always said that one day he was going to get in his ’71 Plymouth Fury and drive all the way around the country, looking at stuff and taking photos and writing in his journal
Since Hubert was never one to kid; one day he just up and did


Hubert’s Trip, yeah Hubert’s trip
What a trip was Hubert’s trip
A circumnavigation of the nation… is Hubert’s idea of a vacation


He's up at dawn, stifles a yawn
He wraps a sandwich in foil; checks his dipstick for signs of oil
He packs his clothes, and picks his nose… he loads his camera with film and then off he goes...


He goes to Toledo, and-say's... "Holy Cow"
12 hours of traveling to be-where... I am now
He stops in Cleveland and-he... takes a nap
Then on to Akron where-he… takes a crap


He drives northwestward and-he...sees Lake Michigan
He looks at the water and won-ders...if he’ll ever eat fish again
In Sioux Falls he sees some Siouxs-they’re... having a powwow
He wants to say hello-but… he doesn’t know ‘how’


But it’s Hubert’s trip; yeah, Hubert’s trip
Hubert’s multicultural sociological trip, yeah Hubert’s trip
He photographs stuff; and writes in a journal.
He Stops every now and then… to use a urinal


Across Dakota he mo-tors... through the Badlands
On his AM radio he-hears...a couple bad bands
He scans through the dial look-ing… for a good song
He hears Springsteen singing “Bad-lands”…and Hubert sings along


Then on into the big sky state...Hubert rode
He stops outside of Billings to wait-for...a moose in the road
He leans upon his Fury’s-horn.....trying to move it
If you don’t believe in loose-moose...he has photos to prove it


Because it’s Hubert’s trip; Hubert’s Hubert’s Northwestern leg


He finds Mt. Rushmore, one of the-more...interesting places
With his hammer and his chisel he etc-hes…worry lines on the faces
For it is the Founding Fath-ers...they're memorializing
So Hubert uses art as a way-of...editorializing


The Pacific Northwest is reall-y...quite a sight to see
Hubert drives his Fury; through a hol-lowed out... Redwood tree
He goes to San Francis-co…and while he is there
He buys some flour at a bake-ry…and puts it in his hair


He goes to L.A. where-he…sees a symphony
He flashes his student ID-and...he gets in free
Hubert is inspired by the mu-sic… and pretty soon
He finishes his own composi-tion...called Bach at the moon


Then on across the California desert, towards Nevada Hubert does trek
Hubert marvels at the vastness of the landscape and is taken aback by the grandeur and splendor of it all; It kind of makes Hubert feel small, yet, at the same time he feels like he is an integral part of the cosmos…He realizes that he is at One with the universe and he’s in such awe that he can hardly speak
He pulls off to the side of the road for a couple minutes… to take a leak


He goes through Death Valley in-the...dead of night
With one eye on the road and the oth-er…on his temperature light
Then over the horizon he sees an… eerie sight
It looks like a spaceship or may-be…a neon light


Hubert’s aware that the des-ert… is where the aliens are
Drawing circles and beaming up cows-and...the occasional car
The strange light intensifies-and…Hubert does worry
About being abducted and hav-ing…experiments done on his Fury


Because it’s Hubert’s trip; Hubert’s paranormal trip Hubert’s supernatural trip which defies explanation ;


Hubert sees a road sign that puts the strange light… in a whole new light
As he descends into the valley he’s filled… with a whole new fright
He knows that the glow means that he…soon will be in
The jewel in the desert they call… the city of sin
Hubert thinks that this might just be one of the more exciting parts of his trip…(.not to take anything away from Billings Montana…)


He gets to Vegas and-he… walks the strip
He’s dazzled by the pageantry as he…let’s a fart rip
The temptation to gamble is so-strong...that Hubert can’t stand it
He takes out a quarter and plays-a...one armed bandit
He doubles his money; yeah-he...gives it a beating
He wins once more then leaves before-they...accuse him of cheating


Because it’s Hubert’s trip; yeah, Hubert’s high rolling trip; Hubert’s lurid and seedy foray into the underworld
Hubert is where the neon’s bright and the stakes are high and everything is for sale


A couple ladies approach-him...and they are really lookers
But Hubert... soon real-i-zes…that they are really hookers
They make a proposition to Hu-bert...that will have to stay in Vegas
Concerning a business arrange-ment...that’s been going on for ages


Hubert is doing math in his head as he looks over their figures
He’s trying to make a few calculations; and the ladies are pushing his buttons
He wonders if he can afford a little decadence
He’s dividing 500 by 45 seconds


Hu-bert is greatly tempt-ed...to indulge in romance
He's got a wad of bills and the la-dies...see the bulge in his pants
They were hot and they flirted but he decides...sex without love is overrated
To a spot that’s deserted he rides-where...Hubert masturbated


Because it’s Hubert’s trip; Hubert’s self gratifying trip. Hubert’s erotic trip where if it feels good then it is done
Yes Hubert thinks it appropriate to park by The Palms Hotel to take care of business
He has a good imagination and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than what the ladies were proposing. He spends a little on Vaseline; and saves a whole lot for gasoline…Then Hubert sets out for Arizona, now that he’s taken care of his….situation


He stops for gas in Tuc-son… and meets a hippie
He gives him a ride all the way-to....Mississippi
The hippie passes Hubert one-of...his funny cigarettes
Something happened after that-but...Hubert forgets


Because it’s Hubert’s trip, Hubert’s mind-altered trip; Hubert’s psychedelic ride, looking through red colored eyes; taking pictures of plaster scene porters with looking glass ties
Hubert wants to tune in, turn on and drop out,
So he tunes in his AM radio; turns on to the interstate and takes his eye drops out
Hubert is on his 5th Twinkie as he crosses into Alabama
He’s driving slowly (almost too slowly) ‘cause he’s afraid of going to the slammer


He gets to Mobile and-down...Ro-yal Street he does go
He’s looking for something to eat-and....a cup of Joe
‘Cause all he's had that day was… a day old pretzel
He sees a coffee house-and...on their sign is a Quetzal


Hubert goes inside for coff-ee… and grabs something light
He sees an ad in the win-dow… for Songwriters Open mic night
Hubert wonders if-he…should hang out
To see what kind of writers show-up...and what they sing about


Because it’s Hubert’s trip, yeah Hubert’s etc  He walks around Mobile, talking to folk. He gets a lot of practice saying: "Sorry, I don't smoke..." He picks up some granola, to go with the next verse...

He’s got a whole bag of grano-la…which he snacks on still
He buys a coke in Pensaco-la… then hits Jacksonville
He stops at a kiosk in Savan-nah...and buys a New York Times
Then through Charleston and Fayetteville and other pla-ces...with which nothing rhymes


He passes the Whitehouse in D.-C...then rides around back
Hubert is shocked to see peo-ple…selling crack
The Lincoln Memorial he’s-seen... somewhere, he is sure
He wishes he had 5 bucks for eve-ry…time he’s seen it before


He went to Philly and-he… saw a bell
No one was around, so he fig-ured...what the hell
He grabbed the clapper and-he... really smacked it
As it rang, Hubert ran because-he...thinks that he cracked it


He gets to New York and Hu-bert...visits a museum
The curator shakes his hand and say’s... that’ he’s happy to see him
Hubert gets carried away-and...touches a Van Gogh
And so, out of the museum Hu-bert... they do throw


Then into New England Hu-bert… continues to roam
In the interest of brevity Hu-bert… soon is home
He parks his Fury in his drive-way… and then reflects for a while
He thinks of all he’s done and seen and… it makes Hubert smile


Hubert’s trip is now done but the…ceaseless recounting of it…has only begun
He parks his ’71 Fury, which now has 317 thousand 208 miles and 3 10ths on it…
He picks the 57 newspapers up off his doorstep, goes into his house, drinks a glass of orange juice; burps and then lays down and sleeps for 10 hours, dreaming about the two hookers in Vegas….