"Locust, Howard?"

Ted Has No "Time" For Me...

Tonight

36 °F

Partly Cloudy

I have attributed the psychological turmoil that I have been beset with to the fact that I have been using a caffeine laden drink to quench my thirst in the middle of the night, before returning to sleep, whereupon the stimulation to my cerebral cortex triggers the most annoying and irrational dreams, most of which involve the resurfacing of memories which I had buried in my subconscious (except for the re-currant nightmare where I somehow had tossed and turned and slid and squirmed my way onto the railroad tracks, and as I let the rumble from the diesel sooth me into a deeper sleep I am ground up and the mockingbirds fight over the choicest morsels) -THAT one isn't so irrational.

I have found two old acquaintances on Facebook and have sent them "friend requests" which have been ignored for at least the past month.

This has put the circuitry of my brain to work, in search of reasons for my being eschewed such.

I have found plenty, by digging up fossils from the deepest layers of memory and it has not helped my self-esteem.

One friend (shown with his homeboy), I worked with at my first "job" when I was aged 11 through 15.

We were both musicians, although he was much more accomplished on the keyboards and could play "Moonflower," by Santana, for example while I wasn't playing "Moonflower" but was telling (fooling) myself (into thinking) that it was because I didn't want to play it, rather than face the possibility that I wouldn't be able to if I tried.

Ted, as that is his name, was an A student, and the son of a very proud Greek man, who seemed to instill a drive for achievement in his son.

Where They Clean The Carts...

Ted was a pretty good golfer, and would have to give me one stroke per hole in order for us to have a competitive match.

We worked at the local Country Club, cleaning clubs, loading and unloading carts; cleaning carts and keeping their batteries charged etc.

The job was kind of a training ground for us to learn how to achieve success in life in general, by modeling the behaviors of the wealthy club members, who were a cross section of Who's Who, in our city of 45 thousand inhabitants.

Our boss, PGA Professional, Jim O' Leary (shown with his own timepiece) strove to be a positive motivational influence upon us. We wore Izod shirts and slacks, just like the members did, were clean cut, and said "Yes, sir" and "No sir" and it was the norm to memorize the names of each member (and their wives names) and to use them liberally.

"Good morning, Mrs. Debitteto! Will you be playing today? Would you like an electric cart, or will you be pulling your clubs today?"

You've got to be shitting me;

sleeping under a holly bush?

Our boss expected us to keep busy...When you're standing still, you're moving backwards...and to keep a positive attitude...Our attitude towards life determines lifes attitude towards us....and to keep the whole operation spit-shined..."I've never been to a coarse where they cleaned the carts," exclaimed one guest from another coarse once.

So, with all this excellent mentoring, which Ted seemed to have taken to heart -graduated near the top of his class; went to a fine technical college to study Computer Science; and the last I heard (from a CPA, who wouldn't give me any exact figures, but who handled his tax filings and WOULD tell me (rub my nose in the fact) that he was doing "quite well," It is quite possible that Ted views me as some sort of utter failure and a pariah to never "friend" on Facebook, out of fear of "failure by association."

Classes Are Filling Fast...

According to Facebook, he is running his own golf school near Orlando, Florida.

He must have parlayed the "well" that he quite did into investing in that school.

Now he hob-nobs with Tiger Woods, slaps V.J. Singh on the back, and wouldn't dream of any of them confronting him with "Who's the homeless guy who keeps writing on your wall?"

Where is Jim O' Leary when I need him?...You can have success in one facet of life, but be a failure in the most important aspect, Daniel, such as being a gentleman enough to at least acknowledge someone who acknowledges you on Facebook; someone who was and is a part of your life and helped shape you into what you are; regardless of whether or not you want to admit it....

Thanks, Jim.

Other than that; It was too cold to busk this morning.

I have sunken to "Broke with strings ready to follow suit" status again, and my plan is to take advantage of the few warmer days which the weather report promises; in order to have traveling money; then to hit New Orleans, where I can hopefully have the check from the Baton Rouge jail mailed to; along with a power adapter for the Samsung, should I come up with enough money this weekend to put those two things in motion.

Then, after a little busking in The Big Easy, hopefully ease on out in search of a nice desert to pass the worst of the winter in; fasting and praying and living on locusts covered in honey, until some sort of revelation as to where to go from there occurs...

"Locust, Howard?"

"No, I think I'll just go to Jack-In-The-Box. Thanks, though..."