Thursday, November 17, 2016

Big Difference Between An Elf And Elk

Scofflaw
Wow, I'd thought for sure the spell checker was going to highlight "scofflaw," as I sit here on the computer at 8:35 PM, when the computer room is supposed to be closed, under regulations, enforced by the security people who man the front desk.
'K
OK, so I have met Kay, the woman who is here ostensibly to crash on my couch for 4 nights, in town to run a half marathon.
We had been sporadically messaging each other, with a high percentage of my mails having been non-deliverable. I have never had such a problem with one e-mail recipient; it has always been a case of the address being non existent. Never has mail come back from a valid address as being "unable to deliver." I mention this because, after having met Kay, my initial impression of her is that she probably has some kind of wacky software on her phone.  She might work for the government, or something. She is from Minneapolis, she said, but quickly added that she had only been there for 5 years and that she is basically not identifying herself with the place.
I had pictured a 30 something in Speedo pants, sneakers with florescent laces, carrying a water bottle with curly dirty blond hair, short enough so that it won't mat up when soaked with sweat and fall over the eyes, making it difficult to see the race course in front of you.
She was none of the above, when she walked briskly into Starbucks, where she had texted me that she was on her way. ...Not even the water bottle...
She was pretty close, though. Late thirties, thin and almost twitchy like a small bird. She had a backpack.
She had texted from "Elf Place," telling me that she would walk from there. I knew that to be a 4 minute walk, because of the times that I was trying to make it to Starbucks before they closed -a time after I had just quit drinking and needed the coffee so as I could still feel like I was getting "fucked up" before going out to busk. In a Kay kind of way, of course.
It took her about 14 minutes to reach Starbucks, after she had texted from Elf Place ("Elf Place," I love it!" I had texted back. I wondered if she would read that and think: "Why, is it not Elf Place?" and then double check a sign to discover that she was on the corner of Canal and Elk Place).
Given the speed that I soon learned that she walked, I could only surmise that she had been distracted, probably by having asked directions from someone who then talked her ear off or, equally likely, skeezed her.
I basically sipped my coffee and waited for someone who looked like a half marathon runner to come into the place.
She came over to me after walking in, and after I had looked at her questioningly, as if I was waiting for a half marathon running looking woman; and asked, right off the bat if there was any key that I could give her.
I started to explain about the building, and how I have to be there to admit her, and get her past the security guy. She said that she was running late, and had to be at the Who Dat? restaurant in another 20 minutes, for a meeting of runners.
We walked/ran together along Canal and Magazine Streets in the direction of that restaurant, while keeping our eyes pealed for buses, and seeing the bus stops kind of like the way a baseball player sees bases. You take a lead off of one stop, in the direction of the next stop, measuring in your mind at which point, upon seeing the bus appear from around a corner, would you dash for the next stop or return to the one that you had already passed.
Advise On Catching Buses
In either case, you would be waving your arms trying to get the attention of the driver. Maybe if you were running towards him, this would make a more vivid impression.
It comes down to which stop you think there might be the most people getting on or off.
So, if the stop up ahead of you has a person there, waiting for the bus, you would dash back towards it.
The reason you are walking is because you are pressed for time and realize that you just might be able to beat the bus to where you are going on foot. Plus, it is more proactive. Nothing worse than still having your ass planted at the bus stop when the time rolls around for when you are supposed to be at that important place. You can only save time by walking/jogging towards your destination.

3 comments:

  1. "A water bottle with curly dirty blonde hair" does not sound very appetizing.

    "A half marathon runner to come into the place" - top half, or bottom half?

    "eyes pealed" - no comment.

    Geez ... several more ... if you had an English degree you'd get a real laugh out of some of this writing.

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  2. A lot of the stuff that you read, written by the "pros" has been proofread at least once, by people who don't have a security guard flicking the lights on and off in a computer room...

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  3. LOL she was split so that from the front she looked normal, but from the back all you could see were her insides...pretty gross, but boy can she run!

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