Thank You

I set out on foot, my bike having been stolen about a week prior. I had my backpack on my back. It was empty. I had tightened the straps on it so it would cling to my body and not sag as much in its emptiness. 

I was walking the one mile or so to the Winn Dixie for food, compiling a grocery list in my head as I walked. I was having an internal argument with myself over whether I was going to buy the most healthy and cleansing foods i.e. prune juice, apple juice, and plenty of alkaline water, or if I was going to splurge on this occasion of having my food card replenished after having run out of money 5 days prior. 

Splurging would, on this evening, mean getting a pint of ice cream and a bottle of some kind of soda in order to make what would be called a "root beer float," should that be the actual flavor of the some kind of soda. 

Yes, the 5 day stretch, after my food money ran out, proved to be mostly a test of the tap water that comes out of my sink. Everything else I ate -the most unpopular items with me that had been passed over the entire month until the point my hunger had increased enough to make them seem edible- were things I had eaten before and I knew what to expect as far as their effect upon me. 

Pasta would fill me up, but would make me feel sluggish the next morning. I would wake up feeling emotionally kind of low. Maybe this has to do with blood sugar levels or maybe I'm geared more towards the keto diet and should cut back on, or eliminate entirely all carbohydrates. 

Jordan Peterson discovered that he had been subjecting himself to "carbohydrate poisoning," as he put it, on the diet that he had been on before having had an epiphany which led him to start subsisting upon nothing but red meat. Not even any leafy green vegetables, and certainly not a baked potato to go with his one staple of steak. His recovery from a host of ailments is something that can be read about by Googling him and "diet." Everything from psoriasis to brain fog to chronic fatigue; and taking "an hour to get out of bed in the morning" went away. 

I kind of knew, from having used my own body as a laboratory for nutritional experimentation, that he was eventually going to want to add some greens (because of the amino acids, according to some) and at that point, might be able to live a long and happy life. I had left a comment on one of his videos suggesting that he add mushrooms to the red meat only fare as an experiment. This came only from a gut instinct that I had (excuse the pun). 

I felt rather weak, physically, as I walked the mile or so to the store; maybe that's part of the reason the foods that I had eaten the past 5 days were the last things left on the shelf; not a lot of energy in corn mixed with black beans in spaghetti sauce, perhaps. 

This might have concerned me given the prospect of having to make the return trip with the backpack laden with whatever I bought. I have a habit of forgetting about that walk back while grabbing stuff off the shelves. A 3 liter bottle of alkaline water along with a half gallon of "Simply Apple" juice is a not insignificant weight to carry a mile. Add things like jars of peanut butter and instant coffee, as well as frozen fish, and the weight accrues. 

Once I had stuffed my backpack with what I bought and was hoisting it up upon my back, I had to think: this is going to be some good exercise, in an attempt to put a positive spin on things. 

There was a half pint of ice cream and a can of Monster Nitro Coffee flavored soda in there. I had bought those so as to give myself the option of splurging or not. But I know that is like someone picking up a rock of crack on the way home, thinking he might just save it for some time in the future; when he might want to feel like King Kong for an hour or so; not necessarily for smoking that night... 

Right now, I'm home, and the thin crust "white" pizza with spinach as a topping has come out of the oven and I will pause here to go and eat probably the whole thing, before it cools to the point where it won't be as good as right now. It came out about 12 minutes ago... 

Post Pizza

Well that was that; I ate half of it. The other half will have to be refrigerated and then re-heated, which may or may not revitalize it... 

Then, I guess the next juice, and then water only, fast and cleanse will take place. 

The meditations and sleep affirmations that I've been listening to are seeming to have a positive effect upon me. I had enough points accumulated in my "rewards" account to have gotten a 25 ounce can of Foster's Lager or their ale, but the thought didn't cross my mind, even though I was within 10 feet of them while grabbing some kombucha and Simply Apple juice. I guess I can't say it didn't cross my mind, or, how would I have noted that I was within 10 feet of them (and they were on sale for $2.50 + tax)? 

I have been entertaining the notion of taking a more proactive stance on my diet and, rather than trying to cleanse myself of toxins through fasting, I might try to exercise more and build more muscle mass on a diet of fish and greens with plenty of accoutrements like vinegar and garlic, as well as basil and oregano, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme, type of thing... 

I think this is because I am drawing upon the memory of when I was in the best shape of my life, and that involved a lot of pretty intense exercise. 

In 1998, I would start a typical day by racing against the neighbor's dog (she would let it out for that purpose) a quarter mile to a store at the end of our street. The dog wasn't a particularly fast breed, short legged and long haired, and so it was a pretty evenly matched contest. I would pretty much sprint the whole way with Rosie panting along beside me. I'm not a dog psychologist but I suspect that there is some gene in dogs that makes them want to stay right by the side of any human that they are accompanying. And so, if the human breaks into a run, then it is genetically programmed into the dog to keep up. The treat of a little tin of gourmet dog food that I always bought her might have added an incentive. 

We would walk back, with me sipping on the Sobe "Power" drink that I would usually get. 

Then there was the weight set in the garage that I would work out with pretty intensely while consuming sometimes 5,000 calories. 

That's right, the "Nitro Fuel," and "Carbo Force," and "Metabalol" drinks that I used as pre and inter (intra?) workout drinks gave me around 1,500 calories. But there was a drink named "XXL" which had 1,150 calories per bottle. If I had smoked weed before working out -which was the case, except for maybe 5% of the time when I didn't have any- I might go through 3 bottles of XXL during a 2 hour workout. They were like thick frappes -delicious; and containing every vitamin, mineral and amino acid you may have ever heard of. They were listed on the back of the bottle; a lot of them being like 3,000% of the "recommended daily allowance" of whatever it was. 

So, the yin and yang of the dietary thing, I would conclude, is that one should either consume a lot of calories, but then exercise vigorously, in order to feel at peak vibrancy, or one should fast on water alone for up to a month at a time, and exercise only by walking to a store and carrying a couple gallons of water back home. Both seem to yield the same result of feeling wonderful; with the former just being more proactive, and maybe better suited to the physical world, whereas the latter might help one along more in the metaphysical one... 

I had left for the store in a pretty upbeat mood, having done my meditations and visualizations and this turned out to be a buffer against a lot of the negativity I would encounter during the trip. 

Basically, I had to wait to get in line until after it had already been announced that "the store is now closed," i.e. after midnight. I have to do this every month, it seems. I get behind the last customer in line and, by the time my food card gets swiped it is a minute or so after midnight and the transaction is "approved." 

Slovenly, Big Boned White Woman Alert!!

On this occasion there was a rather slovenly looking big boned white woman who just looked like a neo-progressive liberal Democrat to me, of the type that would stand on one side of a street and hurl insults at a group of people on the other side who are lined up outside a Trump rally. Insults composed of empty headed talking points. 

She was poking at her phone (or propaganda portal) and so I asked her if she had the time. 

"It's 11:56," she snapped, seemingly annoyed over having had to glance a couple inches upward to read the time. 

Then I added, by way of explanation, and as a way of trying to tell her to go ahead of me because I wasn't ready to swipe my card: "I have to wait until after midnight to swipe my card so, why don't you..." 

At which point she cut me off and barked something to the effect of: "I can't help you, I don't even know why you're talking to me, to tell you the truth!" said with such venom that, had I not been in such a positive and "grateful for everything" frame of mind and finding myself feeling, more than anything else, sorry for her for the fact that she has to live her life under such a burden of negative emotions, a frame of mind in which I just politely said: "You've helped me a lot by giving me the time, sorry if I interrupted you," rather than what I would have said if I were still drinking and not following the self improvement regimen, which would have been: "That's because you're a neo-progressive liberal Democrat who most likely f***s n*****s I can smell it on you. You look like trailer trash, but the truth is much worse that that!" 

That would have made her day the way that a hunter traipsing through the woods with his shotgun loaded for deer's day would be made upon seeing a deer. 

She has been brainwashed by her phone, courtesy of Google and Facebook, with their globalist agenda to subjugate the democracies of the world and bring them under the control of a handful of elitist billionaires, namely, them. 

So this dumpy looking middle aged white woman is another product of the attempt to divide the populations of said nations against themselves and all she "knows" is she hates straight white males with a passion, and would walk up to Donald Trump and punch him in the face if she ever saw him. 

She wouldn't be able to tell you why this is so. (Don't ask her why this is so, or you will give yourself away as being one of the previously nameless and faceless enemies that "all she knows" is that she hates. She wouldn't give them the time of day. Or, at least not civilly... 

So, it's a minefield out there, with the majority of the population glued to their phone screens, subjected to the bias of a monopolistic search engine company, and being manipulated. 

There was another older white lady in the store who had made the mistake of not entering her phone number when prompted to do so. She spoke in the amplified voice of someone who is hard of hearing, and was trying to explain to the staff, all of whom were Negroes, what had happened. 

Since the store was "now closed," none of the staff members seemed to want to deal with her. They would have to refund the money back onto her card and then allow her to add her phone number, so she would receive the discounts, then re-swipe each item. Too much work for the first cashier that she had asked, apparently. 

That cashier decided to delegate the task to the manager on duty, a slightly older black lady whom she had to walk about 20 feet to get to. She went over and explained that there was a lady, adding the apparently relevant detail that it was "a white lady" over there, who was embroiled in this complex situation that she (the cashier) just didn't want to deal with. "I told her just come back in the morning.." she said. 

The upshot was that this older white lady customer was treated like a dog. They lied to her and told her that she was out of luck -she would just have to pay the additional $35 or so for her groceries because it couldn't be undone, etc. It was just bullshit that they were pulling out of their asses in order to try to avoid doing any more work after "the store is now closed." 

Overhearing all of this, as I waited for the clock to strike midnight while holding my tongue involving the ignorant trailer trash woman, I walked over and suggested: "You would have to void her purchase and credit the money back to her card, then she could ring everything up again, after putting her phone number in.." 

Somehow, I think that got their attention at some level. 

I think they were Intimidated by the sound of so many "white" words, such as "void" and "purchase" and "credit it back to her card," why, those are like the high fa-looting things that the white managers who work the day shift use.. 

Erring on the side of caution, they began the process of fixing the situation. 

At 3 minutes past midnight, I had scanned all my items. and so I swiped my card, which went through. 

Hoisting my backpack onto my shoulders, I estimated that it weighed about 30 pounds. I was going to have to work for that root beer float, I thought. 

I started walking slowly towards Sacred Heart, a mile away, with the onus of the backpack, which suddenly seemed a half pint of ice cream too heavy. 

Rather than complain internally about having to tote 30 pounds for a mile, I opened one of the Celsius energy drinks I had gotten, and slugged it down. I soon welcomed the exercise of carrying the load, having just a mist of sweat breaking out, as if I was in a gym doing a moderate workout, back in 1998, perhaps. 

I decided that Celsius energy drinks are, as advertised, a good pre-workout drink. 

"Thank you," I said to myself (and God). 

No sooner had I uttered that when a Ford Ranger type vehicle had materialized by my side halfway across the Winn Dixie parking lot. 

"How far do you have to walk?" asked the lady behind the wheel. It was the hard of hearing lady whom I had helped with getting her discount. "Come on, I'll give you a ride..."
"Thank you."