Monday, April 1, 2013

The Worst Easter Ever

"...Because It's Easter..."
Easter morning, I woke up to the news from  Howard that "Everything is closed, except the restaurants..."
Happy for some...
He asked me if I was going into town and then chuckled.
The implication was that there was nothing to do; with everything being closed...
"Well, maybe it will be good for busking; with the Easter Spirit present, and everything," I replied.
I went into town and ran into Daniel, the trumpet player.
I told him  how miserable my Saturday had been; moneywise.
Daniel said that he had done well ($150) playing his trumpet on Canal Street.
That kind of set the ball in motion for a day when everybody else would be prosperous except myself; for a variety of reasons...
I had a couple dollars and change, and went to the Unique Boutique where a random street person offered to pay for my beer, saying that he had had "a good morning."
The pan-handlers seemed ecstatic; and the ones that I overheard were appending "...'cause it's Easter" to their "Can you help me out"s.
They all seemed to have had "a good morning."
I came upon Tanya and Dorise; who don't always play on Sunday; but who were at their usual spot; filling their baskets and smiling at everyone.
I continued to the Bourbon Street (Barnaby) spot and began to play.
Soon, small groups of people started gathering around me.
I thought that they might have stopped to listen to me; and I played as well as I could for about a half  hour; before realising that street was filling up in anticipation of  some kind of  Easter parade.
"Terrific," I thought.
The Worst Tippers Ever
My experience with parade goers is they all seem  to be there in anticipation of  catching free stuff, thrown from  the floats; and will even jostle each other over it. The person who leaps the highest, or is quickest to bend down and scoop something off the ground is the one who gets the stuffed animal or plastic toy.
They are some of the worst tippers.
Typical New Orleans
Never Came
It was time for me to take a break after playing pretty hard for almost an hour; for nothing.
I half expected any one of  25 or so people, who were then around me to hand me a few bucks, even if  only for the version of  Ziggy Stardust, by David Bowie which I thought was my highlight.
I put all my stuff in my pack; wrapped up the guitar; shouldered everything and walked off, without getting so much as a nod or a smile; or any eye contact at all; and certainly not a dollar; and no "Happy Easter." Typical New Orleans...
Then, I walked back past Tanya and Dorise.
I told them that I hadn't made anything; having to speak up over tourists saying things like "Here's a hundred; I'm  taking all 4 CDs"
"You need your sign," said Tanya, handing me back the "Mariah Carey Tribute" sign, which I had given her the previous night.
"You need to work on the songs and get it together," she added; apparently thinking that I could actually make something of myself  as a Mariah Carey impersonator.
I told her that such an undertaking was a bit ambitious for me, but then added: "Of  course, I could drop all the songs down about 5 keys..."
"There you go," said Tanya.
What I need to "work on and get together" is a sound system - then the Mariah songs will take care of  themselves...
"Get It Together, Daniel..."

I walked around the Quarter finding drinks which people had set atop the trash cans; drinking them; and then becoming moody and agitated, watching all the Easter bums being handed large bills, because it was Easter and then went to Canal Street, where I played some more and didn't make anything.
People seemed to have "given away enough money to the street people"  and were scooting past me,  as if  glad that I was busy playing music and not in their face; begging them  in the name of  the risen Savior for money.
Brian Hudson and Christina Friis
Then, I scrounged some more, until I was pretty drunk and then came upon Brian and Christina.
Brian and Christina were on Royal Street with a microphone and amplifier each.
Brian was able to play his subtle "Travis picking" style with a feathery touch and his amp was booming the sound out for a couple of  blocks.
Christina was singing in a lilting; almost Celtic sounding voice; and they were turning such gems as "Amazing Grace," and "Wonderful Tonight," by Eric Clapton into quick cash.
They seemed to be well on the way to (another) 300? dollar night.
I suppose it is street musician etiquette to never give another busker even a dollar for a beer; even if  he comes by and answers the "how did you do?" question by saying "I didn't make crap..."
Tanya and Dorise have never given me anything; even the times that I watched their stuff while they ran for lunch; but, I have never asked them for anything, either.
I wasn't expecting them  to  at the time,  but rather felt kind of  flattered that they would entrust their stuff to me,  and was thinking more about that aspect...
Still,  here I was on a day when I hadn't made anything; and an Easter Sunday at that; and I couldn't help walking away thinking "Enjoy your holiday and the thousand bucks in your baskets" kind of  facetiously.
Then,  Brian and Christina, whom  I just recently met; were very friendly.
"But, How Was Your Performance, Daniel?"
They remembered my name,  at least.
But, then I mentioned that Christinas speaker was a bit muffled, unless you were standing right in front of it,  and could use a boost in the 3.5 kilohertz range. But, they made no move to adjust it and gave no answer such as "If  we boost the high end, the microphone will feed back."
It made me feel like they were thinking "We're making a lot of  money here; where does he get off  criticising our sound..."
I walked off,  while they were busy answering the "So where are you from?" question to a tourist who was also telling Brian that he had a finger-picking style like the tourist had never heard before.....It's Travis picking....
I got about 50 feet away when Brian said "Bye, Daniel!" which reminded me that some of my manners had worn off in the French Quarter over the past 2 years.
I had been rude to just walk off  without saying goodbye and wishing them  luck.
"I'll be back around; I'm  just......" ..going to get hammered on a bunch of  free Daqueris...
I wasn't in the mood to play; and figured getting drunk would either help put me in the mood; or not.
I eventually came back by Brian and Christina.
They did a very good version of  What A Wonderful World (I had never heard it Travis picked before, myself) during which a lot of  money went into their tip jar.
At the end of  the song, which Christina sang, she let out a sigh, and with a big smile added "It CERTAINLY is!!"
Of  course it's a "wonderful world" for Christina and for Tanya and for Dorise.
I was thinking that it pretty much was a shitty world, at that point.
But, before I sound like I am whining; this isn't the end of  the (wonderful) world.
What I am  doing is learning very well what works and what the formula for sucess is.
When I told Brian that I hadn't made anything, he asked: "How do you think your performace was?"
"I thought I was playing well," I said; but then added: "Do you want to try playing this guitar unplugged and see if  you can make a dollar?
Brian agreed that, "Yeah, you really need an amp."
A Tip For Luck, And We're On Our Way...
Before catching the ferry; I sat by the casino and was able to make 2 dollars; and I really appreaciated that.
It felt like the old days when, after looking up after playing a song that I thought came out well; there was actually money in the case...amazing...
I still caught the ferry, rather than stay out; becuase it was a Sunday; and the "Easter" thing just wasn't panning out....
It was my worst day since Christmas and just as bad as Thanksgiving.
Some religious types say that Satan runs rampant and rules the French Quarter.
"There's a reason they call it Sin City; think about it" -Porsha, the paramedic from Mobile, Al
And it is strange how many people turn into jerks on Christian holidays.....myself included...
Laptop Busted
Then, this morning, I plugged in the Samsung laptop to discover that the top quarter of the screen was greyed out.
This means that I can do almost nothing with it (I'm  on  library computer now) because all the menus and options and buttons to control programs are at the tup of  the screen, under the greyed out area.
It is now a 4 pound mp3 player and not much else.
I looked up screens on E-Bay and found a few in about the 60 to 70 dollar range
The irony of the fact that a lttile battery powered amp is in this same price range was not lost upon me; and once again I must make a choice.
The amp will pay for itself and a laptop screen in due time....
Paul (Doreens Jazz Band) has one that he is selling but told me that I didn't want it because it sounded "tinny."

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