Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Bum Suite?

Here it is Wednesday once again, and Tanya and Dorise may be playing again at Caseys In The Quarter tonight.
Or it might be tomorrow night.
There is some confusion there; because they started out playing Thursday nights but switched to Wednesday; or vice-versa.
I am staying sober; didn't smoke out this morning and haven't had a drink yet; it is 2 p.m.
I will walk by Caseys and ask them if the duo is playing tonight.
Amongst Brians Advice
If indeed they are; and if they invite me to jam; I will probably take Brian Hudsons advice and play a simple song; all the way from start to finish; with a minimum of ad-libbing and stick to the structure; so that Tanya can recongize a pattern and join in.
I Want 2 B On TV
I am hoping that someone will be shooting a video and that I can ask them (force them at gunpoint?) to upload it to Youtube.
People are always telling me that they will.
A guy last week showed me the pictures that he took of me while I was playing and promised to e-mail them; that was last week; no pictures have arrived.
I think the only way to get something done is to stand there and get the person to mail it to you right then and there; while you give them your address verbally and they type it in and hit "send" right in front of you...
What Song?
That being said; I am leaning towards either doing my "Carcass Song," which was a favorite of some people in Mobile, Alabama and which is simple (doesn't even have a "bridge" [yet]) and which has funny lyrics about dogs.
My friend from Mobile (Becca Griffin) is coming here in less than a month and will probably request the song, also, making it a good one to "bone up" on.
Excuse the Pun....
Or, I might consider doing part or all of my Bum Suite; the lyrics to which I have reclaimed from my e-mail inbox from the time I was mailing my lyrics to myself; to preserve them...
The Bum Suite
The Bum Suite in G

intro: G, B7, C, A7

No, I aint got nothing for bums

who sit in the park all day, on their thumbs
They've got life all planned out, they're just gonna stand out, with their hand out
Ain't it grand out the grand outdoors

Hey guitar man...let me have a buck
It'll give you good karma.. It will bring you good luck
It's gonna come right back to you, the Lord, He will provide
But this monkey on my back, you know; won't Be satisfied

So, Break bread, guitar man; break it 'till you're broke
You'll come to see that we ain't such bad folk
We're just pitifully poor, hungry, thirsty, half-naked
So give us a beer, don't make us have to take it
No, I ain't got nothin for the bums
that sit in the park all day, on their thumbs
They've got life all planned out, they're just gonna stand out with their hand out
and wait for a hand out, ain't it grand out, here in the Great Outdoors

I try to keep my distance, but I can hear them hollar
Hey guitar man, come here, are you doing alright? That's good; let me get a dollar

Oh, I'm thinking of just avoiding the parks all together....(segue).......

((Sung to the tune of "Here Comes The Sun," by The Beatles))

Bienville Park, yeah...It's been a long, hard working day...
Bienville Park yeah...I come here just to get away...but
Here come the bums, do n do do
Here come the bums, and I say "It's not alright.."
Spanish Park, yeah...They smile as I turn into their spaces
Spanish Park, yeah...They ask for beer, as I draw near
Here come the bums do n do do
Here come the bums, and I say "It's not alright..."

Bums, bums, bums, here they come
Bums, bums, bums, here they come (interlude)
Cathedral Park, yeah...I see their ice is slowly melting

Cathedral Park, yeah...It seems that soon, they'll have warm beer

Here come the bums, do n do do

Here come the bums (we need ice, man) It's not alright....

Bums, bums, they come .......(seque)......

(Back to A section, briefly)

Some of them, I swear to thee; have got no brains at all

They'll steal your underwear off a tree...shit stains and all

I'm getting so when I see them, I try to duck

before they ask me for my lighter, a cigarette, or a buck

I realise that you get your check on the first
I understand you're about to die of thirst
There's no doubt in my mind that you pay me back ten fold
I'm sorry to hear that your food stamps have already...been sold

(segue) spoken: Why don't you pick up cans and recycle them like the Can Man?

((Sung to the tune of "The Candyman," by Sammy Davis Jr.))

Who can make some change flow...
To pay for his own beer...
He doesn't have a job, but then, he doesn't have a fear
The Can Man...Yeah, the Can Man can....

The Can Man can, 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good


The Can Man takes aluminum and makes
A trip upon his bi-cyle, oh
and brings them to be re-cycled

I think that his name is Michael

Who can take your drained ones...
-crush them on the ground....

put them in his bag 'til he's collected up a pound

The Can Man; yeah the Can Man can

The Can man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good


The Can man takes...empty cans and makes
a little bit of dough out of it
The environmentalists, they love it
Don't ever think that you're above it...

oh...He picks up aluminum....copper, tin and brass...
You could do the same if you would get up off your ass..

The Can Man....Yeah, the Can Man can...

The Can Man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look good..


The Can man takes every cent he makes,
and satisfies all his wishes

oh, you talk him down, all childish and vicious
I think that he's ambitious

Well, Who can make some change flow,
To pay for his own beer
Doesn't have a job, but then, he doesn't have a fear

The Can Man, yeah the Can Man can
The Can Man can 'cause he pick up shit with love and makes the world look good

The Can Man can 'cause he picks up shit with love and makes the world look might want to consider it....


'Cause, I aint got nothing for you bums
who sit in the park all day, on your thumbs

But if I give you any more, I won't have anymore

If I had any less,
I would be pennyless,

....fade out


  1. Hey here's an idea, how about conferring with Tanya and agreeing on a song she likes, and knows, and that way you won't sound like crap?

    I see you becoming more and more friends with Tanya and Dorise and that can get you places if you don't shoot yourself in the foot.

  2. What I see T&D being; about as much as anything; are teachers...
    Tanyas eyes lit up at the thought of giving me my first violin lesson (how to sit; how to hold the thing; how to hold the bow; and, instead of one string at a time; maybe a whole major scale in the open position; with instructions to master one string before moving to the next...) and Dorise is always ready to tell me about any chord that I ask about: "That was just the three minor 7 to the 6 major 6; you hear that all the time; especially in New Orleans; like all that Fats Domino stuff *plays a few bars of Blueberry Hill* and that is in between songs that she will take time to give another musician a theory lesson; while 30 people stand around with their video recorders on "pause"
    Tanya was ready to sit out and listen to one of my originals, but at the word "original" she said "an original?" and kind of shrunk back and even lowered her violin off her shoulder; the problem with "a song that she likes" is that the favorite ones she does with Dorise are the ones in the high "difficulty" range; where Dorise can pull out some seriously jazzed up chords while Tanya blazes over them; in her own world, perhaps...
    My plan is to take a simpler song which she might not love but has played several times before, and to sing funny lyrics to it and then to jazz up the chords ala Dorise, but in a different way (because I'm not Dorise) because I think that will give them (and don't forget the patrons in the bar) a good example of "what I do" and they can either jump in or sit back (and hopefully enjoy lol)

  3. Give violin a try, it's easy as shit to play. You'll need to change some things, much less pressure in your "fretting", and the bow's a new thing, you'll need to develop a different small muscle control to keep it on the "Kreisler Highway" (look that up).

    A solid hour a day will have you kickin' ass.


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