Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Stormy Monday, Dry Tuesday

I knew as soon as I was born that this was not sustainable.

The constant need for oxygen was not a good sign.
An even better view of the lake,  January, 2006

I have just returned from a bike ride that took me to a Starbucks that I only learned existed this morning after I had entered “Starbucks locator” into my smartphone’s search box.

As I sat outside Rouses Market on Carollton Street using their wi-fi, I was informed that there was a Starbucks 16 minutes, by bicycle, away.

So, up Canal Blvd. I went, and lo and behold, as soon as I had went a block past the furthest that I had ever ridden up that street, thinking that there was probably nothing up ahead, I came upon a section of the city called Lakeview.

I noticed that it was very close to the Delgado College campus and, hence perhaps, the Starbucks being present there.

It turned out to be a nice place, which had more than a dozen people lounging about, using laptops or smartphones.

Tuesday, Suffering

I am suffering right now, a lot of anxiety.
I have run totally out of money and most other things, except food.
I have spent the last week in kind of a depressed mood, that had me staying in, choosing to just lay down and go to sleep instead of busking.

A factor in this has been, I'm pretty sure, the potent pot that my friend Bobby has been basically giving to me, lately.

It works like a mild euphoric, which turns, three hours later, into a tranquilizer.
It makes me insecure and paranoid, and ultimately depressed.

If I smoke it in the evening, the chance of me actually going out to busk is cut at least in half. The walls close in around me and the busking spot feels like it is miles away along a route fraught with peril. It sort of is, but, normally I just take that in stride.
Left: the Starbucks in Lakeview (with its Hurricane Katrina water level mark denoted).

So, I decided to just leave the weed alone. I must say, I was pretty bored this morning, without it.

But, I am also sick of listening to recordings that I have made, none of which are complete (because "not seeing things through to their completion" is among the list of things attributed to marijuana on certain websites, under headings like: "Just because pot is legal, doesn't mean it's for everyone.." and such) and are all like things written but, not proof read, to their detriment...

Now I face going out to busk on a Tuesday night. I have brand new strings, thanks to the Lidgley's parcel, and I feel like I just need to go out and have a decent night to lay to rest the negativity.
 

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