Stone Cold Sober, As A Matter of Fact...

• Anger At Google Premature
  Anger At Running Out Of Cash Premature
  Anger At "Wokism" Valid

I have sinned...

Late night rally quells shadow ban suspicion...

I broke from and abandoned for just a while, the principles of The Law of Attraction yesterday; and allowed myself to feel anger over what I had perceived as having been blocked by Google from appearing in anyone's news feed, or in any search results to a person who Googles an exact term or phrase that I might have written.

Yesterday's stats fall more in line with the "million chimpanzees typing away for a million years" about which, it is posited, that there would be like a 50% chance that one of them would randomly type the preamble to the U.S. Constitution (or whatever example the statistician used) word for word.

How that relates to this blog is that, given the number of chimps, er, humans who are searching for stuff on the Internet, in a typical day, a consistent number of people will wind up clicking on this blog, due to a phrase or something I used.

What I like about The Law of Attraction is that I can kind of brag about it here without that usurping the power of it, or diverting my momentum towards having everything magically appear, or more accurately, for me to discover that it (the solution) had been right in front of me, all along.

Tiny changes that I have made, like sitting in the sun for 20 minutes each day upon waking, instead of in the dingy apartment which might promote depression, has had a great positive effect.

A couple days ago, it was me deciding to turn down the beggars around the building in the most polite way with an open heart, type of thing.

Instead of pressing to outdo myself in sarcasm; "No, today is Wednesday; Thursday is the day I walk around handing out money to everyone I see. You must have gotten your days confused..." type of thing, I now try to genuinely feel for them, put myself in their shoes, metaphorically, and kindly tell them that I wished that I did have a couple bucks I could spare. Then I might even add: I wouldn't have to be feeding my cat cans of salmon off my food card, if I had cash..."

10 minutes later, a knock at my door and it's the same guy, holding a couple cans of cat food in one of Harold's favorite flavor; "Here, these been in my cabinet from when this girl was staying with me, and she had a cat," who then tells me that, right after he talked to me, he found 5 dollars laying in the hallway on his way back to his apartment. "So, I'm good to go; this'll get me my cigars and a couple cans of beer!"

Today, it was myself refusing to feel anxiety over the fact that I was flat broke and down to a couple tablespoons of kratom.

Kratom has been the thing that seems to be helping me go from waking up feeling like I might have Covid-19 to feeling chipper a few hours later.

I sat there and came up with the 3 things that I am happy about and grateful for and then, against the resistance of feeling like I had the flu, was able to muster up a degree of the "feeling" of those two things. It is the emotion which is what gives impetus to The Law of Attraction.

I thought about how grateful I was that I had just seen a video of a guy who was able to inject himself with the e-coli bacteria and then, through willful control of his immune system, make it so that, within 15 minutes, it was totally out of his blood stream. He was being interviewed by Russell Brand and also spoke about how he has climbed the Himalayan mountains in nothing but a pair of shorts.

He had Russell strip down and join him in the ice cold waters of the Thames River, claiming that clothing was keeping human beings from the kind of full sensual contact with nature.

And so, I was grateful to have seen that and remembered myself having been able to ward off sickness in the past by doing my own version of willing it away.

There was always a part of me that almost wanted to get sick, so as to lay down after doping myself with Nyquil and maybe even have others attend to me, like there was an element of slipping into a hot bath tub to being sick.

What I would do was to pretend I was staring up into a clear blue sky and then pretend someone was telling me that the sky was green. I would agree with them: "Yes, the sky is green," while knowing in the back of my mind that the truth was that it is blue and I was looking right at it.

Then, I would marshal a sort of energy by tapping into that "knowing" part of my consciousness; which is so strong and certain that I could even say that the sky is green, and then translate the "even though I know it isn't" into "I'm not going to get sick." Sort of like, the sky is blue and I'm not going to get sick become mated together logically. I would usually feel a sense of something akin to discomfort, but of the type that I feel when it is time to get out of the nice warm bath water, and to stand up and towel off and then go off to work, or something. A sense that it's not going to be as cozy and lazy as staying in the tub, but it is done out of a sense of duty, like when the break is over and it is time to get back to work.

There have been other days when I wound up being glad that I went to work, rather than stay in bed "sick," because by the time I felt "much better" there seemed to be more facets to it. I'm going to get my full paycheck; I'm going to be more resilient against illness, type of thing.

So, I was grateful and happy and managed to feel so, to a degree.

Despite being broke, and having no toilet paper...

Then, despite being broke, and having no toilet paper and a lighter that had died the night before, so I had to light the butts that I found in ashtrays off of my stove, I didn't look at things in a negative light. I was happy to have gone the entire day before on the juice fast, only caving in at the very end by eating the remains of a can of tuna fish, after Harold was full, mixed with a can of sweet peas that I had found just sitting somewhere -the Law of Attraction often works like that- and equally glad that it only took a small can of prune juice to get back on track, and happy that I had just enough toilet paper to finish the job.

Imaginary, Transitory Dream People

It was about 10 o' clock at night and I prepared to go to Winn Dixie, where I would go into the men's room to stuff a pocket full of toilet paper. I had an imaginary argument in my head with an imagined person in a Winn Dixie uniform which went something like:

"If I were to take a crap in there, I would have used the same amount of paper that I'm taking; I'm just going to use it at home, instead of here...    

And, plus, I will be flushing my own toilet, thereby saving you guys the 1.3 liters of water that your energy star compliant bowl would have used. I'm not stealing toilet paper, I'm doing you a favor. Your welcome." type of thing.

The imaginary Winn Dixie person was satisfied, and off I went on my bike, happy and grateful that its tires have been holding air, and feeling it.

Before I got to the Winn Dixie, I stopped by the Voodoo Tattoo shop to look for the American Spirit snipes that one of their employees throws in the road, just off the sidewalk. I didn't see any, but saw, what turned out to be an empty cigarette box, but I picked it up anyways, to use to hold whatever snipes I might find while out.

Seeing me do this, some guy who was in front of the Red Door bar asked me if I wanted a snipe, he turned out to be homeless. "I pick them up, too." he said. We got in a conversation during which I mentioned that a couple cigarettes would last me all night because I broke them up and smoked the tobacco out of a "one-hitter," which is a pipe that is the same dimensions as a cigarette, and painted to look like one to a cop who is any distance away at all. It is used to smoke that really potent weed that you really only need a couple pinches of to get high off.

The guy found this amusing. "Not, me, I'm like a Hoover Vacuum cleaner when it comes to cigarettes.

Rather than undergoing a risky surgical procedure I've elected to just leave the deer growing out of the back of my head; it's not hurting anyone... 

He said that he had been homeless since Hurricane Ida, prompting me to tell him my own Ida story, which included the part about how it had been a blessing in disguise when we were forced to evacuate our building "Because that qualified us for the 500 dollar check that FEMA was giving to anyone who was forced to evacuate..."

He lamented that his dwelling in Metarie had been declared "habitable" -"even though it was missing half its roof" and that he hadn't gotten anything from FEMA.

I then tried to console him with the fact that my 500 dollars had really been a curse in disguise of a blessing in disguise because it had led to me having turned into an alcoholic; repeating the adage that "Money is the worst thing you can give to an addict," then going on to tell him that that was the reason I had purposely let myself run out of it, and why I preferred to be picking up snipes, rather than telling myself night after night that I was going to stop drinking the next day.

I was feeling grateful for the fact that, since embarking on the juice fast, as flawed as it had been with its starts and stops, and me not having cleared that last hurdle of quitting tobacco, though I had cut down considerably with the one-hitter, to 2 cigarettes a night; I was having more meaningful conversations with a lot of the people that I was meeting; with our quick friendship being an example; and was just feeling the gratitude when he asked: "Do you want a lighter?"

"Sure, I would love a lighter; you can't light a one-hitter off the stove unless you twist a length of toilet paper into like a long wick after dampening it in oil, then touch that to a burner; but that's a lot of work for one puff of tobacco," ...not that I'm complaining...happy and grateful, happy and grateful...the Law of Attraction...

I had never thought this sucks, my lighter died, because the Law states that this would attract other things that suck into my realm; and in doing so, in accordance with the Law, I had attracted another lighter into my life. I had never really been without a lighter...

And, I wasn't out of kratom, as we shall see.

Once in Winn Dixie, I stuffed a pocket full of toilet paper; then grabbed two cans of Fancy Feast, and set out to find someone whom I might buy one of their items for off my food card in exchange for them paying cash for Harold's food.

I saw two potential victims, er, nice people and one of them was in the direction of the alkaline water, which I was going to get, so as to attempt the cleansing fast once more; so I figured this person was the one.

Then, my attention was drawn to the section where all the coffee flavored beverages were. These are usually made up of just the 3 ingredients of: coffee, sugar, milk. What's the difference between that, and just making coffee at home with sugar and milk in it, and then keeping it in the refrigerator; in a bottle with a cap on it, even? I have always thought, about those drinks.

I had a sudden urge to take one to the register and pay for it, so I could drink it while I walked around the store. Was this just the hunger talking? 

I had only eaten a half can of tuna with some sweet peas the past 24 hours. Did I really want an energy boost, or was it the milk and sugar -the fast wreaking milk and sugar- that I was actually craving?

What sealed the deal was when I saw that Coke, that "woke" corporation, had its own coffee type beverage. I stared at the bottle for a second, remembering a time when I was homeless and had no water at my campsite, so I wound up mixing instant coffee with, you guessed it, Coke.

You paint "Let's Go, Brandon" on one of them things; then fly it over his house in Delaware, huh?

That was enough to dissuade me from buying a coffee beverage to walk around the store with. I didn't dwell on the negative memory of that hideous concoction, though -the Law of Attraction states that that would only attract more hideous concoctions into my life (what you think about is what becomes reality) and so I was just happy and grateful that I had had such an interesting life experience as mixing instant coffee with Coke under a wharf and gazing at the broken and giggly reflections of the rising sun off the Mississippi River; and I felt the emotion of gratitude.

I then went and grabbed the alkaline water which, along with juice like the pear juice I had in my basket was to be the only thing I was going to live off of for the next 10 to 14 days. We're making another attempt at the fast again, right?

From around the corner I heard the voices of what turned out to be a young lady and a young man, who looked like potential cat food for people food traders. She was pushing a cart that had what looked like healthy foods in it; a good sign.

I approached them, and tried to address them simultaneously "Would you be willing to let me pay for some of your food on my food card in exchange for you paying cash for this cat food?" I began to say.

I noticed that the lady had turned away from me slightly, as if deferring any interactions with strangers to the man, as per the traditional manner that I had grown up with.

But the guy had basically turned his back to me when I was mid sentence.

This allowed me to practice the art of batting away negative thoughts as if they were bats flying towards me, trying to go into my brain and I was holding an imaginary baseball bat. Don't even let the negative thought in. I don't know if it was going to be from the family of thoughts that include: That's rude, turning your back on someone when they're speaking to you...typical New Orleans denizen, that's why I call it Ignorleans..what a jerk...or whatever it was going to be. I won't ever know because I batted it away (like it was a bat) and switched to; It's so cool that they had alkaline water, the shelf was empty yesterday; I can't wait to get home and do nothing but drink juice and alkaline water for the next two weeks; how my life will come back under my control then....so happy and grateful, and I can feel the emotion...

No sooner had I done all that, I noticed that the guy had a hearing aids in both his ears. They were those big flesh colored ones that fill the whole ear cavity; not easily noticeable at first. It appeared, and became more evident later, that he was embarrassed by them, and so, had turned his back away from me; not that he hadn't heard me...unless he needs new batteries.

Thus relieved, I then held out the 2 cans of Fancy Feast to the young lady, who then told me that she would buy cat food, and that I didn't need to give her anything off my food card, despite me insisting.

"For your cat," she said; then immediately evinced a bit of embarrassment herself, perhaps thinking that I might have interpreted it as: You're on your own, but a defenseless animal, I'm willing to help...I wouldn't do if it was for you, type of thing.

"I have a cat," she quickly added. "The only thing is; I'm gonna be in the store for a hot minute." She turned the full page list she was holding towards me.

"Oh, I'm usually the one they are hinting to when they come on and say 'The store will be closing in 5 minutes, or whatever."

She glanced a little doubtfully at my basket, which was already full looking, with the gallon of water, the pear juice and a couple Monster Zero drinks that I mix my kratom into (I'm not down to my last tablespoon of it; I have more than enough kratom; I'm happy and grateful for the never ending kratom which I am about to receive...) and probably thought that it looked like I was pretty much done shopping.

"I read the ingredients on everything and it takes me forever; besides, they close in less than an hour; I would stand on my head for an hour to feed Harold..."

She didn't seem like the "Aww..." type but I knew that invoking the name of a cat named Harold was going to tug at her heartstrings.

"OK, just look for me up front."

Having some time to kill, I drifted into the produce department, walking on air at the prospect of being able to say "I got something you like!" to Harold, who has borne the plain canned tuna like a trooper, helping me through this critical period when I can't allow myself to have money.

There was a lady looking through the bags of potatoes which drew my attention to the "winter" foods; and I grabbed an acorn squash and a ginger root; things that grow underground where the frost can't harm them; and then saw that they had huge horseradish roots, 3 of them, with the smallest being about a pound and a half. I grabbed it, despite there not being a price for them posted anywhere...this foot long horseradish root might be 15 bucks, I thought, but something told me to get it. When you think you might have a (albeit over-hyped) virus, and your doctor is a muse inside your head; you aren't in a position to question a huge horseradish root that is just suddenly there in front of you, I've always thought...

As soon as I picked up the horseradish root, it became a magic wand, and the lady appeared holding a bag laden with cat food in the form of a 24 pack in a box, along with a large bag of Temptations treats, which I know Harold likes, and a couple of small, containers of the healthy type stuff that boasts being nothing but the meat, no fillers, no hormones, no grains nor additives, which I know Harold hates.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that Harold hates that kind; but I was instantly transported back in my mind to being 12 years old on Christmas, and opening a present that I already knew was an album, despite an attempt to disguise it by stuffing some wadded up paper in with it and the fact that my main gift was a stereo system; preparing to act pleasantly surprised, then peeling back the paper, to uncover a Jefferson Starship's Red Octopus album.

"Oh, wow! Is this the one with.." (flipping it over) "Oh, yeah, 'Miracles!'" and then, picking up the next present to unwrap, a little square-ish box, and shaking it a little and unable to resist the sense of humor that is still getting me in trouble to this day, saying: "Maybe this one is earplugs!"

But, I was able to manage: "He does like tuna..." 

She had apparently gotten the most expensive stuff she could find. It was the gourmet version of Fancy Feast, which is already a gourmet version of regular cat food.

She encouraged me to go back and feel free to swap the 24 pack (which was about 20 bucks) for a different flavor or a different kind, whatever...

I thanked her heartily, and told her that "Harold say's 'meow'" and she walked off.

Then, I went to see about swapping the Creamy Delights for stuff that I'm sure he likes.I am "once bitten twice shy" as far as getting stuck with large amounts of food that Harold turns his whole body away from when encountering it in his bowl, and something told me not to roll the dice this time. I'm actually about 4 times bitten, 5 times shy...

A came around the corner to see the boyfriend of the lady, who seemed to be searching one of the beverage aisles in vain. He greeted me, while removing his "hearing aids," which I now think might have been some kind of smart devices that go in the ears like headphones because, why would he take them out to converse with me if he's hard of hearing? And that would explain why he had seemed to not even hear me the first time I saw him; he might have been listening to an audio book, or something.

He said that he had been all up and down that beverage aisle and couldn't find something. I asked what it was he was looking for "because I scoured that aisle the other day looking for prune juice; I might have seen what you were looking for..."

He began reaching in one of his pockets. "I have this coupon for a free drink," he said and then unfolded what turned out to be one for a free coffee flavored Coke!

"Oh, those are in a different section, for some strange reason," I said, before leading him to the next aisle over where he was happy to see the very drink that I had been staring at 10 minutes prior, after having gotten some wild hare urge to sip a coffee flavored beverage while walking around the store.

If that paintball had hit me any harder; I might look like the guy on the right now...

The cashier said that she couldn't do a refund, but that customer service opens at 9 in the morning.

"Well, can I swap this for a different flavor of the same kind?"

"No, not after it has been tendered," she said.

"But I didn't even leave the store with this box, it's as if I accidentally bought the wrong flavor and I just want to switch it for another one of the same brand and the same price; what harm would be done?" 

Here comes another bat; headed for my head...
"Yeah, I can see your point, they are probably inventoried by each variety so they will know how many of each individual flavor to order each week, type of thing; no problem"

"Like I said, you can come back at 9 in the morning and return it, swap it, buy something else, whatever..."

That was a blessing in disguise, because, had I swapped for a different variety, it wouldn't have matched what was on the receipt and I wouldn't have been able to get a refund.

With the Law of Attraction, very often the think you want is right in front of you.

"There's my 20 dollar 3 ounce bag of kratom, right there!" I thought, while symbolically smacking my hand on my forehead. There was a reason the lady got such a funky flavor and spent so much; she was trying to get me the kratom instead; that's what I need to get through this Covid-18 b.s.

I'm not down to my last tablespoon of kratom; I never thought I was, I never will be! I'm just going to attract more and more of everything good into my life; and into the lives of those around me. "The Secret" is the Law of Attraction.

I will do the same thing every night for Harold's food needs; 2 cans at a time, instead of 24...

And, as soon as I go back to busking, it will be clear sailing; alcohol and drug free, and without having to worry about vax, or no vax; I might be in the 1% of the population for which no mandate of any kind could ever apply. I'm happy and grateful for that...

Those people on the left (MSNBC, CNN) have been totally brainwashed and are doing the bidding of Big Pharma; such lemmings, but I digress.

I've got cat food to return and kratom to buy and some music tracks to work on, in order to get something from the Halloweeny Jam posted up here.
I had no idea, when I was stoned all the time that not being stoned all the time can be so fruitful. I guess, if you know you are being deceived then you aren't actually being deceived, type of thing.. well, I have an ashtray to pick, later...