New Post, Here We Go...

What Would Jesus Do?

Oh, yeah, he would walk around preaching and performing miracles; I guess I'll do that...

Maybe my life w

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ill end the same way as His did? 

I mean the going to heaven part. 

I think he descended into hell for the 3 days -he didn't go to heaven as soon as they stuck a fork in Him on the cross; I think he went to hell over the 3 days of physical "non-responsiveness." I believe he had some ass to kick down there; I'm not sure.

He would have been a first ballot inductee into heaven. He would have gone "straight to heaven," to echo speech that I heard growing up Catholic.

I think the alternative refers to those of us that might have to endure a stint in Purgatory before ascending.

This consciousness here, might be that Purgatory.

I was required to read Dante's Inferno  in Catholic high school, which I did. 

But, since I wasn't required to think about it critically to attempt to reconcile what Dante was trying to say with my own understanding of human consciousness i.e. my own life, that's all I did.

In my immature mind, I remember just coming away with an image of Paul McCartney as like a Las Vegas showgirl with ribbons on her (his) nipples and it would be his to eternally girate his body in a circular kind of vertical Hoola Hoop aspect, so that the ribbons affixed to the tips of her (his) nipples would keep going in mesmerizing circles. I was pretty sure that that was what awaited Paul in Purgatory, should Purgatory be like what Dante had in mind....

But about the resurrection of Jesus (and then I'll get back to some more topical subject matters) I think it notable that he "ascended"into heaven, after showing himself to be resurrected for probably 3 days, walking up to people in other bodies maybe, because they couldn't recognize him....

How much longer would He have lived after the resurrection? Would He resume walking around preaching and performing miracles?

He was 33, reportedly, when he was killed by the State and so, after being dead for 3 days, He showed himself to a few people but then went up into the clouds, instead of walking up the the guy's who were nailing him to the cross and freaking them the fuck out!

Anyways, I digress.

Standup Comedy

I've been having a good run with my second vocation of musician -no complaints here.

But I will soon be hitting the open mic standup comedy events around here and I guess it's time for that train to leave the station. I've been preparing all my life albeit without my knowledge.

I'm home brewing wine. 

And I have started a few half gallons of grape juice by putting a good amount of sugar and some yeast in the juice and then affixing a condom over the top of the bottle to allow the gasses to escape slowly through a pin hole made with a needle and to prevent any air from getting in. Fermentation of sugar in anaerobic which means no air (Alex Carter).

Ok, here we go, the joke is about how I use a flavored condom as the airlock to prevent air getting in and let CO2 (that's carbon dioxide, Californians) out.

But I have to put a pinhole in the condom or otherwise it would explode about 2 days into fermentation.

"Some of you are probably here because of a pinhole in a condom" is one joke that takes about 4 seconds. 

So I just have to fill another 59 minutes and 20 seconds and I'll have a Netflix special.

I found a 60 dollar bottle of wine on my way the the store.

I Take A Cab To The Grocery Store was going to be the blog post title with the "cab" being the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that I found on a step as if "free to a good home," something that is SO New Orleans, but I digress. I found the wine because I decided to walk instead of taking a cab to the store. But I picked up the wine bottle and continued on to the store, taking a cab(ernet) with me to the store but not taking a cab to get there. I have over-explained that; a sure sign that I might be rambling. A 60 dollar bottle of wine is a manifestation of the "you get what you pay for" thing. People will fork out that kind of money (and maybe reconsider breaking their 7 years of sobriety and deciding to leave the bottle on the front step "free to a good home" instead of drinking it) only because it is just a little better than anything cheaper. It has the difference that makes the difference. 

So, whatever. I'm going to blog now I think ...again after 3 days of being literally in hades, and kicking some ass I humbly add.