El Matador

It is going to cost me almost 50 bucks to get a copy of my birth certificate. This will wipe me out and only give me the "opportunity" to work, if I could ever become hired.

I can't work here and have been being fed by Nina, enough to keep me around to suit her purposes.

I don't think I have work opportunities here, because I am not Mexican, or of any other group that looks out for their own. Whites are on their own. I should have been Indian, or Jordanian, or Jewish, Russian, or even Black!!!

I am white and a vanishing breed, especially with a president, who is a mouthpiece for who knows?

So, because the Mexicans are holding all the labor-intesive jobs and getting paid under the table, (paying no taxes into the system and ready to obtain free hospitalization and care, of course, should they need it (what a country)) -all at the expense of the real tax payers, and the employable white guys are collecting unemployment from the system, because they can't work for the wages that the fine Mexicans, who are victims and only here to steal and work and rape (allegedly), are willing to work for. What a fine economical condition.


And the Mexicans that smirk at me as I sit at the picnic table at the Gate, unable to go out on the side of the road and play music for tips, because it is considered panhandling; them going in to microwave their lunches, which they prepared at home for pennies on the dollar...them smirking at me, the "American who can't get work under the table" like they can...the Latin music pouring out from the truck with the name of the landscape company emblazoned on the side. Them tweeting and text-messaging to Mexico, saying that there will be more american 100 dollar bills on the way. Them not realizing how close they are to getting their brains smashed from behind with a steel rod, as they bite into their burritos.

I have nothing to do, besides waiting for Nina to string me along with more money. It is omasculating, the way I recall it when I lived with her, and the reason I left her.
I have lost the power to provide for myself, and it is more of a big deal than one might think.
I am sick of it; yeah, and I am sick of asking others to help me.