Call Now!

 

I did the most American thing imaginable, ordering the singing bird clock -picking my phone up and calling the number on the screen; calling within 10 minutes, so I could get a field guide to the 12 birds that are on the clock.

It crossed my mind to try to invent a better mousetrap, by making a clock that had 24 birds. The top dial could rotate every 12 hours, changing all 12 birds; it could be done by cutting wedges out of the uppermost dial, and then having a dial underneath that could rotate back and forth to display each set of birds.

It can be done, but the birds might have to made a bit smaller, so as to squeeze all 12 birds in.

Then, you simply wouldn't have the "morning" dove cooing during the evening dinner.

Jeopardy will come on on the white breasted nuthatch and again at the Baltimore Oriole.

 I haven't made the appointment for a vaccination yet. They put me on hold when I called and the "estimated waiting time" incremented from 2 minutes to 5, and stayed at 5 for another 5 minutes. So I just hung up and haven't gotten around to the thing yet.

I also haven't sought out the dental clinic which was chosen for me through attrition, also, based on it being the closest one to me.

I figured I would go down there and ask them what "Dentaquest" is all about and, I am sure, schedule my first checkup. I'm going to have the screeching violin sound effect from the Psycho movie ready on my phone for when the dentist first say's "OK, open wide..."

I probably should have explored the various participants in the program to find a female dentist. Although my self constructed without a large enough sample to prove theory that female dentists never hurt me is largely based upon one Brazilian dentist in Amherst, Mass. who did a root canal on me and I literally didn't feel any pain or discomfort. It was almost as if she was gripping my skull in an acupressure type hold and blocking the nerve receptors.

A Royal Scam? 

I had just started a job as an electronics assembler, and the company had pretty good dental insurance. So, within less than a month of my being hired there, a simple toothache due to a cavity drew the recommendation of this attractive Brazilian dentist that a full root canal procedure be done, and that the above tooth be ground into a base upon which would somehow be cemented , a porcelain replica of a tooth, which I believe was called a "crown" by her.

I felt bad about bringing the resultant bill in to Linda, the human resource wife of the owner of the business, whom I had only known for 3 weeks, for around $1,800.

I passed the blame on to the dentist: "She said I needed a root canal and a crown and cap, and..." But she didn't hurt me at all, throughout. I hadn't even felt the needle to put the Novocaine in. Some kind of rain forest nerve pinching going on there, I suspect..

 Maybe Linda started to wonder if she should start checking the teeth of future job seekers for preexisting conditions. 

But I did wind up staying on that job for about 4 months, and I'm sure they turned enough profit on the printed circuit boards I soldered components onto to offset their insurance costs some.