White Flight

 I've been working at everything; waking up right at the start of Jeopardy lately; sometimes switching on my set right as the first clue is being displayed.

I appear as a 4 year old somewhere in the above mosaic

Alex Trevek is still the guy, so these must be the pre-recorded shows from when he was still alive. Do you think?

Quitting music has led to some revelations, such as that I still had not totally killed the dragon of "what other people think of this" while in the middle of working on a music piece.

I used to think more on the lines of: Look, I can be just like the Grateful Dead!" rather than: "Hey, be impressed by how good I have become; take back anything critical you may have said and everything is good...

It's just that, when you are an artist, you feel like you are pregnant with a creation of yours. I can remember always vowing not to work on another piece for a long time, after finishing one.

There is the ebb and flow between conceiving of a sublime piece and trying to transpose it from mind to recording, knowing that, if you took 5 months off to take a crash course in The Oboe, you could return to the project five months from then and really lay down a killer reed part; and the wanting to complete and move on from, a song before getting tired of it.

If that happens it turns into "going through the motions" which is 

Then, switch to other activities that might be equally leisurely, without the trying to right the wrongs inflicted in youth when, you knew you had it in you, but that it would take a lot of hard practice to bring to fruition, which you were procrastinating upon getting to..

So, yeah; I am back to work on whatever it was, to where I go back to now...