A New Earth

I think, as Jacob was dropping me off at Sacred Heart about three weeks ago, after the last time we busked, we shared an unarticulated feeling that it would be for the last time.

I then embarked upon a 12 day "water only" fast, during which I observed the steady diminishment of the cravings that had grown to define me.

On the third day or so I went and got some magic mushroom gummies.

Being that long removed from food had provided me with the prerequisite "empty stomach" that WIM Hof recommends for doing his deep breathing exercises, and I benefitted from the rush of self manufactured DMT in my brain after 5 rounds of them, going about 4 minutes without air during the pauses after the breaths, and before the inhalation which brought a disembodied euphoria, complete with floating out into space.

The bag of shroom gummies, on about the 4th day ushered me into a period where things were manifesting, left and right.

The ridiculousness of this reached it's peak on about the 10th day, when I went for a walk around the block and returned home with a knife, a gun and a heavy set of bolt cutters, all found laying on the ground at various places, or in the dumpster, in the case of the bolt cutters..

I've been contemplating cutting my way into the vacant church which abuts the Sacred Heart property, on order to record music on that cavernous space, where only a huge porcelain crucified Jesus hanging there remains from its days as a church, where Lois Armstrong married one of his wives in 1964, I believe it was.

I had been procrastinating on getting some bolt cutters to deal with one of the heavy heavy chains on the front doors.

Once inside, I'll rechain the door from the inside, for insurance against anyone walking in on the recording session.

The next day, I was on my way to the Goodwill store and to get a nicotine vape when I came upon the scene of an accident, where a small brown skinned guy in his 50s had been struck by a young lady in a small gray car, and was being loaded into an ambulance.

"I didn't even see him," she told me.

She was a white lady in her 20s standing by the car that had a small brown skinned guy shaped hole busted out of the passenger side of its windshield.

She didn't seem nervous about being charged with any crime, and the couple of cops standing around didn't seem to be harassing her.

I pointed out to her that she hadn't left any skid marks, that I could see, but couldn't decide if that was good or bad for her.

It reminded me of that riddle: "What's the difference between a dead n****r in the road, and a dead skunk on the road?"

(the skunk has skid marks in front of it).

Then, as I bent my steps towards the store that sells nicotine vapes, there in the road, about 40 feet past the ambulance, was an almost new nicotine vape. The guy was probably puffing on it, not watching the traffic..

Then, on the Goodwill I found 3 of the books that I had happened to watch video reviews of; as part of the top 20 greatest novels in English; Homer's "Odyssey," "Great Expectations" and "wuthering heights."

To go with the bolt cutters...

During the water only fast, I experienced the shrooms, the nicotine, some rum one day, kratom in the mornings and some weed.

With the last item proving to have very little teeth as far as being a vehicle for achieving any sort of elevated state, compared to not having eaten in 11 days and doing the WIM Hof breathing, along with guided meditations..

It only took a few sips of rum to get wasted, but it was more of the sloppy, disabling facet of that particular liquid, and not so much of the dancing in your underwear with a lampshade over your head variety of experience.

I felt like I had managed to increase my vibration, and go to a higher plane. My guitar playing became fluid, almost like playing in a dream, and I was playing along with Pat Metheny and actually "getting" his music (he said he doesn't eat the whole day before a gig, because hunger gave him energy and helped him focus). So there's that.

And, as far as attracting other people into my orb, who might be on the same plane, it didn't happen.

Nobody knocked on my door because they just happened to be walking past with their instrument, and heard this Pat Metheny style music.....

When you are in the present moment, you will attract certain people, and repel others.

I went up to Jr's to jam and I guess my motive of smoking some of his weed and drinking some of his vodka was exposed, with the concomitant punishment coming down hard on me.

All the peace of mind went out the window as soon as he started pushing buttons and triggering me. It was the full catalogue of his annoyances, on steroids.

He was throwing flattery at me with thinly disguised insincerity "boy, you can really throw down, Daniel McKenna!" with his use of my full name coming across as mockery, as if he's implying that I must think I've really made a name for myself, and he was pushing that button, appealing to my ego...after I had spent all that time trying to transcend it, trying to unravel all that with calculated manipulations.

And, of course, twisting my arm to take a gulp of cheap vodka then delivering of himself a scowling laugh as I did so, in a tone that says, "go ahead, gulp it down, Daniel McKenna; I got you; you son of a bitch!"

But I learned to take better notice of the sound of his knock on my door. That time it had been a tattered, off rhythm, not smooth at all delivery with one of the knocks perhaps being his head thumping against the door after he lost his balance trying to aim his fist.

I should have known that no amount of weed would be worth enduring him at that level of drunkenness.

Those are the times he will sit right next to me and constantly nudge me with his elbow in between each word, as if he wants to make sure Daniel McKenna is paying attention to him...

Lilly called and asked me why I haven't played there in like 3 weeks.

I said that Jacob and I both just lost interest in busking at the same time; not by any arrangement, we just... stopped..

I said that I want to do something special, like go out with some great new songs, or with some "purpose," and that I wasn't sure what Jacob was up to..