Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

24 Dollar Monday

24 Dollar Monday
Is it just me; or am I starting to look like Sony Bono?

Broken String Cuts Session Short

From the Envie Cafe, where I had encountered "Stoker," I left for the Lilly spot, a little bit after 10 PM last (Monday) night.

Stoker had been sitting at one of the outdoor tables, taking apart and repairing one of his amps, with pieces of it strewn about him.

"Stoker"

He was using one of their outlets to charge the automobile battery, which he uses to power it. He was using another for the soldering iron; and a third to charge his cell phone.


He sits upon the seat of his motorcycle -the one he uses to pull a trailer behind him, loaded with gear- and plays and sings blues, usually on Royal Street.


Eventually, one of the managers came over and told Stoker: "Like, dude, you can't do all that here..."

He had wires all over the place; it was almost comical; it looked like he was building a robot.

The 8 Day Itch
I was feeling the first real urge to drink in the 8 days that I had been sober, and I told Stoker about it. He gave me one of the textbook lines, out of the AA manual; something like: Don't tell yourself that you are never going to drink again; just that you aren't going to drink tonight...


He meant well, though.

Sideline: Stokers Incredible Story

He also told me an interesting anecdote about Dorise Blackmon, during this past Mardi Gras, having thrown his guitar, case and all, out into the street, when he had gotten to the spot where Tanya and she always play, and had set up -over the protestations of the guy that was sitting there, holding the spot for them.

He had told the guy holding the spot that he (the guy) wasn't a musician, and that he didn't see Tanya and Dorise anywhere in sight; and that he was there; and he was going to play; because "that's how it works out here..."

Dorise showed up and words were exchanged, with Stoker telling her that he was only going to play for a couple hours, or so.

No go.

Dorise threw his guitar out onto Royal Street; and a nearby state trooper (they were everywhere) who witnessed it; put her against a wall and handcuffed her; but then let her go; because the guitar wasn't damaged (according to what Stoker related but, more) likely because one of his fellow officers said: "That's friggin' Dorise Blackmon, who plays with Tanya Huang. You just can't do that to her; she's royalty, out here."

I told Stoker about how I once stopped by T&D on a windy day; and seeing their baskets almost full to the brim; said "One good gust of wind and there will be money blowing down the street.."

She had just shrugged and said: "It's happened before." like it was no big deal.

"She said that?!?" asked Stoker, incredulously.

You Can Live On Bananas



I was feeling a slight flare up of the eczema, which had been perplexing me with its presence, throughout the juice fast that I had been on for the whole of the 8 days.



I had only consumed 4 bananas the whole day; along with a lot of distilled water laced with cayenne pepper; before going to the Envie Cafe to blog and to drink a cup of their brew.




The previous day, I had only had a few apples, and a few bananas, along with some apple juice and a few cups of tea, made with spring water, at the apartment -usually a remedy for any swelling of glands and inflamation of skin, which caused the condition to receed within 2 or 3 days.


No(la) Tap Water For Me



So, I thus deduced, by process of elimination, that it is the tap water which they use to brew their coffee which was irritating me; and had been throughout the week, when my evening cups of coffee had been my only sin against the distilled-water-only phase of the fast.


And this was a mild irritation, which had the back of my neck tingling, the underlying muscles tense, making me want to "crack" my upper spine, and the skin, which had been red with a rash which had seemed to take forever to fade over the course of the juice fast, starting to feel dry and itchy with a prickly sensation, as if the rash was threatening to come back.


This was also triggering my urge to stop at Sydneys and buy some strong liquor; as I was rationalizing that it would be like medicine, which would subdue the reaction.


As I walked Decatur Street, in the direction of Sydneys, I felt a physical weakness set in, thinking that it was about time. The whole weak, I had been almost hyper, with my mind racing so much that I couldn't sleep; though I did get an awful lot of reading and writing and music done.


I was walking very slowly, feeling no sense of urgency. I didn't have to desperately produce drinking money, and I still had about 14 bucks left, after buying the harmonica, the bananas and the coffee. I didn't have to make a cent. I could get on the cable car and go back to the apartment, where I could break in the brand new harmonica in the key of C, and do other productive things, like resuming my perusal of the history of America (I'm up to the year 1635, and New Amsterdam has just been colonized).


The weakness had the effect of taking away a lot of my confidence in being able to make any money at the Lilly spot; but I reminded myself of Jim Brown, the legendary football player, of whom it was said would get up off the ground and hobble slowly back to the huddle like an old man in need of a cane, as if he was totally spent, but then, as soon as the ball was snapped on the next play, would explode through the line, like a fireball,* faking guys out and dragging others down the field.
*(I just thought "fireball" sounded like the right word).


I had some faith in my ability to rise to the occasion, once I was set up and began to play; and, especially after the first person threw me a tip. I was telling myself that I was saving my energy; doing a "Jim Brown."


I was also thinking that the time to start eating again was approaching.
My sense of smell has been heightened, as it always is after a fast.


I could have been blindfolded, as I hobbled down Decatur Street like an old man in need of a cane, and been able to tell when I was passing the hamburger place, the crawfish place, or the Italian restaurant. The smell of alcohol hung like a cloud of vapor everywhere.


I made the right hand turn onto St. Phillips Street, towards the Lilly spot instead of going straight to Sydneys beer, wine, liquor and cigar emporium, when I got to that intersection, telling myself that, should I drink, it would take me 8 days just to get back to the point of sobriety that I had reached.


And knowing full well that the 8 day stretch wouldn't commence the very next day because; why not drink again the next day, since you already blew it...
Well, You get the idea...

I got to the Lilly spot, and saw a fair amount of tourists about.


I set up the spotlights and the tiposaurus, and a couple of plastic sharks encircling the tip jar for good measure, and began to play.


Having to break the harmonica in became a blessed convenience, as I felt that I had to gradually break myself in, also.


Having no real sense of urgency, I began to play "Imagine," by John Lennon, and to softly play along with the harp, making sure I used all 10 of the holes, both blowing and drawing -something which became an educational experience, as I had to think of where, in the song, I could fit each note in order to excersize it and break it in.


As I began to gradually increase volume and intensity, it occured to me that I was singing and playing better than ever, by dint of starting at such a relaxed pace.


I ran through some of my key of C harp songs; able to decide upon which song to do next while still playing the previous one.


I was playing "Wild World," by Cat Stevens when, I was mildly surprised to see two women sitting on Lillys stoop to my right. They had kind of sneaked up on me.


I poured my increasing energy into sounding as well as I could, and felt the sensation of floating out of my body, as if I were up in the loft of the house across the street, laying back and listening to (and enjoying) myself.


The ladies sat there through 4 songs (which I think is a personal record for me being able to hold tourists attention) and I could hear them singing along, as I went from the Cat Stevens song, into "Golden Slumbers," by The Beatles, and then into "Tears In Heaven," by Eric Clapton. They applauded after each one.


When I went into a harmonica solo on "Wild World," it put in my mind the image of a great bird, taking flight in the breath-taking splendor of slow motion. And it was like spreading the harmonicas wings, as, I felt that it was sufficiently broken in and laid into it for the first time in its life, bending its notes.



When I finished the Clapton song, I looked over and acknowledged them for the first time.


"What are you going to do next?" asked the one on the far side.


"A Space Oddity" by David Bowie was what I did next, chosen a bit hastily, without having opened myself to the muse over what song would naturally follow "Tears In Heaven."


I was trying to preserve the detached, out of body state of mind, but was drawn back a bit by wondering if I had chosen the right song -one which they knew, and liked. I had one ear open, monitoring for the sound of them singing along; and was glad to hear one of their voices.


While I had been playing, three passers-by dropped a dollar each to the tiposaurus. As I thanked them, between words to the songs, I couldn't help thinking "How skeezy is that?" -like I was dropping the hint to the ladies that I appreciated tips.


Towards the end of the Bowie song, my voice began to crack a bit. A fog was rolling in.


The ladies got up and the nearest one placed a 20 dollar bill next to the tiposaurus.


"Thank you. I think I got a frog in my throat," I said.


"I heard that," said one of them.


"Maybe a fog in my throat," I added as they walked off.


And, so I was left to ponder whether or not the cigarettes that I continue to smoke had dried my throat out, given my suseptabilty to that condition since my body had ridden itself of a lot of mucous the past week, giving the smoke nothing to stick to, except my vocal chords.


Then, at 11:36, after having played an hour and 10 minutes and made 23 dollars, a string broke on my guitar.


I realized that my sins of excess over my 26 day drinking binge were visiting upon me, as I had no backup set. Of course I had no backup set -I'm lucky that I hadn't fallen asleep with the stove on and burned the apartment down.


It's going to take a bit of catching up, but I had made string money.


For good measure, I played a couple more songs, minus the string, trying to be creative with it and made one more dollar off someone who seemed to be enjoying the 5 stringed instrument.
Then, there was nothing to do but to adopt the attitude of "a bit at a time," resolving to reappear the next (to)day with new strings, and a new harmonica, and 9 days sober.


Washboard Skeezing 101





The blessing of being sober was highlighted when, as I was packing up, a drunken skeezer was yelling at a tourist. It was the black guy, who plays a washboard and walks up and down the street working the tourists by playing the washboard for them, whether they like it or not.


He comes by and plays over me, but never for more than a minute or two before moving along; so we get along alright. He also doesn't skeeze me for anything.


"Your a predjudiced motherf***er!" he was yelling at the tourist.


"I know your kind. You're a redneck, ignorant, predjudiced motherf***er!" he continued, following behind the guy, haranguing him.


They passed by and came upon a group of 4 middle aged white men, who had been standing about 50 feet down from me.


As I packed up, I was able to hear the washboard guy saying to one of them: "No, he don't want to fight me. It's you who wants him to fight me. I'm just calling him out because he's a prejudiced redneck motherf***er. In New Orleans, we shoot from the hip!"


I couldn't resist putting in my own 2 cents with: "I think that's the wrong expression!" which drew a snicker or two from the tourists.

There's the little bugger...

The prejudiced tourist walked on, and then I saw one of the 4 with his arm around the washboard player, trying to calm him down.


"Why don't you relax, and play us something?" I heard him say.


I then heard the washboard for a bit, then heard one of the 4 tourists telling one of the others to "Give the guy a dollar," then adding a good natured: "No, you're paying, 'cause I bought the drinks!"
Then there was some mumbling from the washboard player, who had taken his cap off and was holding it out to them.


Then, one of the tourist said: "Well, now you're begging!"


"I'm not begging; I'm CHARGING," said the washboard player. "I get 20 dollars a song out here!"


I had mixed feelings, admiring the guy's tenacity, but with part of me thinking: "Stop skeezing, they gave you a dollar...Is that why you need to get tanked up on whiskey every night; so you can get your aggressive panhandling game on?"


They handed him another bill, and walked away.


As I was putting the last of my stuff in my pack, he came by, muttering in a disgusted tone, something in which I only made out the words: "...two dollars..."


I left for the apartment thinking to myself: "I make 20 dollars a song, out here," and had to smile.


The Circle Of Life


In the morning, I remembered being told that there was a food bank at the church right up the street from us, every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:30 AM.


I remebered this at 9:19 AM when I checked the time on my new cellphone.


I then checked my gig bag for the charger for that same phone, only to discover that it had fallen out of the hole in my gig bag which was created by the rats under the dock one night when I drunkenly forgot about a bag of Ritz crackers which were in it.


I had put it in the bag, erroneously thinking that it wouldn't fall through the hole. That would be one more expense which I would have to take care of, before other expenses as, the cellphone also became the alarm clock that I wanted so badly, and would pay for other things, by getting me to work on time.

My Favorite Meal


At 10:30 AM, I was at the church a block away and was pleasantly surprised to be handed a bag containing a box of pasta, in my preference of "whole wheat," along with a jar of sauce, made with olive oil and not soy (which I can't have) and a can of corn and a can of green beans.


I assessed that it was 10 dollars worth of food, as the pasta sauce was the expensive kind, hence the olive oil as an ingredient.


And, it was handed to me by none other than the girl who drives my favorite mule (the white one with the brown tail).


"Do you play guitar in the Quarter?" she asked.


"Yes."


"I've seen you before. I'm one of the tour guides," she said.


"I know, you come by my spot all the time," I said, and stopped short of adding "I really like your ass; it's my favorite one of all..." We were in a church, after all.

An Encounter Of The Howard Kind


I dropped the food off at the apartment; then decided to postpone my quitting of smoking for one more day, and headed for the store, with 37 dollars on me.


I ran into Howard in the hallway, and we talked a bit about apartment life in general, and sports.
He seems to be doing alright, except for the fact that he thought that the University of Kentucky mens basketball team had been defeated and knocked out of the NCAA tournament "Can you believe that? They were picked to win the whole thing, and they lost to Hampton!"


I had to set him straight by telling him that it was the Kentucky womens team which had lost and been knocked out of their tournament.


This was a bit disconcerting to me, because Howard had always been very sharp, when it came to sports. He could tell you which college a particular pro football player came out of, for example.
I was hoping that it was just a case of him having glanced at the sports page hastily and missed the little details, like the fact that the Kentucky "mens basketball team" was led in scoring by a player named "Amy" and another one named "Lakeisha" added 19 points.


He complained that it is hard for him to get around on his bike anymore, and he is thinking of getting a motorized one. He is 68 years old. But he lives off of McDonalds food, supplemented with Cheetoz and Pepsi...


I went and spent 6 bucks on a pack of American Spirit cigarettes, and then thought about walking to the Goodwill Store to see if a certain home stereo was still there for $16.99 (how they determine their prices is a mystery to me).


It is a Philips brand and has nice sounding speakers. There are some rust colored stains on the speaker grills, which are grey, as if water from a rusty pipe dripped on them; and that is probably why it hasn't been sold. A lot of people judge things by appearance. How many nice, shiny cars have you seen which blow smoke when they run?


I need to get new guitar strings, which will set me back 6 bucks, or the cost of a pack of cigarettes (is the universe trying to tell me something?).


I decided that, replacing the phone charger should come first, and, as I did so, I glanced across the street to see a Boost Mobile cellphone related store.


I went in and told the Latina looking girl behind the counter that I had lost my charger. "Do I need to go to a store that sells this kind of phone?"


"No, we sell chargers that will fit that, but they're 20 dollars..." she said.


"Oh," I replied, rather dejectedly and asked her if she thought that I could find one somewhere cheaper, thinking that she might have been an hourly employee there with no interest in the business.
I guess she is a commissioned employee, because she returned: "Why, how much do you have?"
I had visions of walking into The Unique Grocery store and finding one hanging on a hook somewhere at $6.99.


"Well, I was hoping I could get one for, like, 10 bucks."


She pulled a charger off one of her own hooks and said: "It would be $10.90."


That song by Wilson Phillips was playing in there, called: "Hold On," I think, and, as I handed over my hard earned 10 dollars, it occurred to me that I had just gotten 10 dollars worth of free food from the church, and now I was paying 10 dollars back, in a sense.


I handed her the money; she made sure the charger fit my phone; and then I thanked her and had an impulse to tell her: "God bless you," on my way out; but I never say that to people, and when other people say it, it just makes them sound like "church people" to me; who probably say it so much, it has become automatic.


I felt silly; it was such a trivial thing; but Jesus' words came to me: "If you are ashamed of me; I will be ashamed of you in front of my father." 


Still, I was hesitating, when Wilson Phillips sang the line: "...Won't you tell me now"
"God bless you," I said; then added: "Y su familia!"

Well, that's all for now, folks...

I headed towards the door, lamenting that I wouldn't be able to get the (Philips) home stereo and still be able to buy guitar strings; but then thought that I probably wouldn't have time to listen to it that day, anyways, and that I could be patient and wait one more day.


I thought this as I was walking out and just as Belinda Carlisle was singing: "Just hold on for one more day."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Call Scotlandville Yard!

  • Howard Misplaced

  • 6 Day "Drought" Ends

  • One More For The Road

Last Night, I had a little "scare," after

I Misplaced Howard.
After I left the library, I went to the convenience store, where I was readily allowed to busk in front of the store.
It was very noisy, as the heavy traffic on the street seemed to reflect off of the underside of the sheet metal over the pumps and right at me.
Howard remained at the library for another half hour and then walked up, after I had just begun playing (I had stopped for a few minutes to sip down a beer -behind a building and out of sight, because this in not New Orleans and "the police will give you a ticket," according to someone that I talked to, after I walked up to him with an open beer in my hand out of force of habit after 7 months in New Orleans).
I had a two dollar bill in my case, which I had started with, along with the first money that I have ever made in Scotlandville, Lousiana in the form of some change.
Howard stood for a second, looking at the money in my case. He must have thought that I had been playing for the whole half hour since I had left the library and only made two buck and change.
He left to go take a nap at the spot where his bag was hidden.
I played for about an hour and made about 11 bucks, battling the noise with the harmonica.
One black guy asked me to play some B.B. King.
I don't really know any (which translates into: I don't know the words to any of his songs past "They call it stormy Monday, and Tuesday's just as bad..." of course I know the 3 chords) so I played The Sesame Street song and blues-ed it up. I got a buck off one of his friends, via him.
A Little Annoyance
Then, Howard and I walked down to a truck stop which I had found on Google Maps to be located right down the street from us, about a half mile.
I felt blessed to have found the three key ingredients that I was looking for, a McDonalds, a library and a truck stop all in one convenient location. When I saw that the train tracks ran right by the truck stop, which was called the "Mr. Lucky S" truck stop, I thought that we had really "lucked" out.
Arriving at the truck stop, though, I was informed that I really needed to be on the other side of the Mississippi River, in West Baton Rouge, in order to get a ride to Texas, due to the way the roads were laid out. I guess every driver who stops at the Mr. Lucky S, is headed the opposite way.
I then thought about asking people in pickup trucks to transport Howard and I across the river.
Then Howard said "I'm tired; I'm going to go lay down," and off he went, after I suggested that he at least do so by the railroad tracks, in case a train stops in front of us in the middle of the night with an empty boxcars door gaping open at us.
I had "no choice" but to follow him. I couldn't just leave him behind (despite the little demon that was hovering over my left shoulder telling to to do just that).
Then a train stopped about a half mile down the tracks, its headlight winking at me and glimmering off the tracks.
Had I been alone, I would have at least walked down there to investigate, maybe talked to the conductor who might have said "I'm going to San Antonio, there's an empty car about 12 back, do you need some water?" which isn't out of the realm of possibility (its the rail police that you have to worry about, the crew members are your friends...).
But, I wasn't alone. I had a friend whose walking speed would double the time it would take to go and investigate, and who was already snoring.
I started to get a little annoyed and to kick myself for taking the guy along with me.
I decided to take a long walk and do some soul searching.
I left my backpack with Howard and took my guitar along after putting the harmonica in the case. I knew that my long walk would take me past the convenience store, and I might wind up busking some more, especially if encouraged by the owners.
I was gone about an hour.
When I got back to where I had left Howard and my backpack, there was nothing there, no Howard, no backpack with all my worldly posessions in it. Vanished! Kaput! No trace of them!
I knew that I had the right spot because I recognized the ant hill ("You might not want to lay down right there, Howard") that he had started to throw his blanket on top of before I suggested that he move a few feet over.
Then, I was more than a little annoyed. I was kicking myself and yelling out loud "I should have NEVER took him along!"
I wasn't sure what to make of it. I knew that the odds of him moving after he had fallen asleep were slim. I figured that some other agent was involved in moving him. Could we have chosen to lie down on the property of some top-secret, highly classified Federal building (disguised as a stockyard full of cows)?
Had the cops come along and questioned Howard, and became highly suspicious after Howard said "This isn't my backpack, its my friends, he's not here, he took a walk?" ...denying ownership of the bag, eh? ...can't wait to search it thoroughly at the jail...
Mystery Not As Great As Problem
The mystery wasn't as great as the problem, though.
The problem was, I now had nothing but the clothes on my back, which were going to be of little help on a night forecast to be 45 degrees. I thanked God that I had taken my guitar along, and stuffed the harp in the case.
...Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be...maybe I'm supposed to start with nothing but a guitar and harp and one set of clothes and 25 dollars and nothing else and find my way to California, using only my musical skills....is this the time to call my mother in tears and beg her to wire money because I'm stranded in Scotlandville, Louisiana?
I did what I always do in those situations. I prayed.
I re-thanked God for leaving me the guitar and the harmonica, and for having given me a place where I can play; all night if I want to.
I am inside here, right now, typing away...
I was approaching this library. Something told me to go around to the back of it. I did.
There was a loud racket coming from a huge heating and cooling type of unit, which had a barbed-wire fence around it. It was chained shut with a padlock. I could notice a difference in temperature when I was standing next to the fence, which was only about 10 feet high. There was heat coming off of the unit. The barbed wire was the flimsy kind with two links twisted together at the top.
I decided that if I could put one foot on the chain and padlock, I would be able to get over the fence without ripping my wrist open and requiring 7 stitches, like I did when I was 7 years old (the scar left was in the shape of the number 7, too, but I digress). I was freezing my ass off already and it was only 10:30 p.m.
I put my foot on the chain and the padlock and started to put my weight on it. The lock popped open and the chain released and hung there, swinging. It hadn't been locked, only rigged up to look like it was locked, maybe by a lazy guy who hates having to carry keys around.
I went inside the enclosure and walked around the unit. It was quite sophisticated with boxes and pipes and valves and hoses and even electrical wiring. Atop it were grates covering fans facing skyward. Following the heat source, I found two pipes about 9 inches in diameter and set about 5 feet apart to be almost too hot to hold my hand on...almost.
I crawled under the unit and managed to position myself so that one hot pipe fit the back of my hoodie-covered neck, and the other hot pipe was right where I could wedge one foot under it, so that it lay across my instep, and the other foot over it, so that my Achilles heel rested atop it. The middle of my body was cold at first, but, I could actually feel my blood warming up with each circulation past my neck and through my brain and then back down through my feet. Thank you, Jesus...
I woke this morning around sunup, still hugging the pipes and comfortable.
Thank You, Howard
I was planning upon flagging a police officer down to ask them if they happened to have scooped up any 67 year old men from any cow pastures the previous night, but, I had to use a restroom first.
I went to the Jack-In-The-Box, and there was Howard, scoffing down a sausage biscuit and a cup of coffee and reading the sports page, like he has been doing every morning since I met him.
"Yeah, the bugs got to be a little annoying, so I moved. I didn't want to just leave your bag there, so I took it with me and hid it real good in the bushes"
It was still there. I have all my stuff back. The End.
Epilogue: "Losing" all my stuff allowed me to really take inventory of everything I have and I think I appreciate it more now. Thank you, Howard...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

4 Day Haitus (appended)

This library closed
for 4 days, over the holiday, reminding me that holidays are not really for the homeless.
It closed, and it will close again, over the New Year's holiday, Saturday through Monday. I won't be back until January 3rd.
I played over the weekend with mixed results.
I'm Probably Perfect The Way I Am
It seemed like Friday night's activities died down early.
Relax, Daniel
I stopped by where Tonya and Dorise were playing , in front of Rouse's Market. Tonya asked me why I had a deeply thoughtful look on my face, and asked me if I was even capable of relaxing the tension in my lower forehead, which gave me that look. "I don't know, I'll have to think really hard over that," I said.
She assured me that there was nothing wrong with it, in her opinion, and that she wasn't judging me, and that I am probably perfect just the way I am.
As she was packing up her stuff, she asked excitedly, if I was going to play. I figured "why not," because in front of Rouse's Market is one of the "best" spots in the French Quarter. It is a great spot for a band, or someone with a big production, involving amplifiers, chairs, microphones, and preferably, an 8 year old girl playing the drums. It is a mediocre spot for a lone unamplified guy with an acoustic guitar.
I took my guitar out and played, thinking more of trying to impress Tonya, than any other thing.
She has an acoustic guitar player (Dorise) as an accompanist, already. I was impressed with the repertoir of Christmas songs that they were able to churn out, especially their instrumental version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," and Tonya's ability to count the days, so as not to make it "The Eleven (or Thirteen) Days of Christmas."
You've got some funk in that box...
It would have been nice for Tonya to tell me that I sounded good, before she hopped in their van and took off, but, I had to spend a bit of time tuning, and then played a song that I thought that Tonya would like, and which I had to stop in the middle of, because I hadn't been doing my homework and memorising songs that I think Tonya would like...
The next night, Saturday, I had better luck after I stopped where Doreen was playing the clarinet with her husband on Suzaphone (partially shown; bottom left), and her little girl, Dorien, on drums. They were packing up to leave also, asked me if I was going to take the spot also, and this time I played a song that I thought the little girl would like, playing funky chords and making up lyrics about the green bread of my sandwich (It was "spinach bread," and was supposed to be green, but I made a joke about it). Doreen's husband put a dollar in my case and said "You've got some funk in that box!"
It being Christmas eve, there were people everywhere, and I had the feeling that I could have made a lot of money, just because of the occasion, but I couldn't bring myself to just sit somewhere for that purpose alone. I might have to adjust my attitude in that reguard, in the future.
I just about broke even the whole 4 days of the extended holiday, to include last night's Monday Night Football event at the Superdome, when it rained just about the whole time. I sat under a stairwell and played. Most people just walked past me, and I didn't think that I was making hardly anything at all. I counted about 16 bucks this morning. Some of the people that threw me something must have thrown a few bucks, because I'm pretty sure that less than 16 people tipped me.
Then, I stood up and banged my head on the concrete of the stairwell which was a couple feet above it as I sat. I left the game because of a mild concussion. (The league is paying extra attention to those kind of injuries this year, and, even though I didn't have any blurred vision, I decided to err on the side of caution and went to the library's patio to sleep).
This morning, Howard asked what has become his "morning question" lately: "How'd you do last night?"
I don't suspect any hidden motives in his asking me that, though, because he gets check every month from Social Security, I sometimes wonder if he sees the potential to be of help to me, somewhere down the road, especially at times when "I didn't do so well last night."
It is still up in the air, the decision to cut myself free of Howard, or to take him along wherever I go. The pros and cons are about equal in the matter. He might get a little extra money for being hard of hearing, though...I said "HE MIGHT GET A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY FOR BEING HARD OF HEARING!!!!"
It would be easy to write him off as a bumbling idiot who trods along behind me and asks painfully obvious questions like "Are you gonna go inside?" after we had walked all the way to the Unique Store and are standing out front. "No, Howard, I just wanted to see if I remembered how to get here after bumping my head last night." Or "Are you gonna hide it in there?," as we near a lone stand of palmettos and I am walking towards it carrying my sleeping bag, after having said "First, I'm going to stash my sleeping bag somewhere," before we walked there. And then: "Is that a good hiding place?" "No, Howard; my bag gets stolen out of here every time and I have to buy a new one each day, but I just don't know of any better hiding places..."
But, I had recently rededicated myself to living a more spiritual life, and had asked Jesus into my heart for about the 38th time. This time was different, though, because I was really comfortable with the people that prayed over me, none of them reminded me of a used car salesman, dealing over my soul, and I think the prayer had an effect; things changed wholesale for the positive, and a lot of blessings came my way.
And, Howard came my way.
Because of his deafness, it is easy for people to dismiss him as being mentally retarded, and that kind of treatment has apparently molded his personality. I think he is intelligent, but just misunderstood, and lonely.
If I give my body to be burned, but don't have charity, then...I don't remember the rest of that scripture, but the end result isn't good...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

First, Have Passion

Jeff Beck, who is about 10 years older than me, and one of my favorite guitarists,
playing at a blues festival, along with Tal Wilkenfeld, aged 20, who I now have
a "schoolboy" crush on, and want to put a note in whose locker from a "secret admirer."
I wonder how many bass guitars she went through before finding one that "fit" just right...
I'm sure Jeff's found that she "nurtured" the music with her accompaniment.
Terry Postpones Bones
Yesterday was spent for a large part in the library, where I decided to wander the aisles and came face to face with a book called "The Complete Idiots Guide to Getting Published," of which I read the first five chapters. This inspired me to think about pouring more energy into finishing a children's book, which I have started.
I also read some of Tony Robbin's book, Unlimited Power, to wit, the section on passion.
It is passion, according to Tony, which made Arthur Ashe (editors note: for an obscure example) charge the net relentlessly until he eventually forced his opponents into errors, and passion which makes people rise early and stay up late. I decided to become more passionate about finishing my children's book.
I then saw Terry, sitting in one of the reading lounges. Terry is a 54 year old black man, and there was another black man in the chair to his left.
I greeted Terry, who told me that he had been looking for me earlier, about cooking neck bones. We both agreed that there was not really enough time left before the start of the Fiesta Bowl, to cook neck bones (and do them justice.)
While I spoke to Terry, I was aware of the other man's studying of my face and thought that he was analysing my deportment and probably trying to glean signs of bigotry in me. Many of the African-Americans downtown, I believe, have developed the opinion that I am a racist; probably because I don't give them cigarettes; something which they too readily attribute to their skin color. When I hang around with Terry, I often notice in the body language and expressions of many of the blacks that we encounter, a sense of mild surprise and relief, and it almost looks like their lips are saying "I thought he hate us." I have made "converts" of many of them, just by being seen alongside Terry, talking and laughing on the streets. The guy in the other chair had me under his microscope, I felt.
Terry and I went to the Save-A-Lot, where I got him some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, to snack upon during the game. He went towards the Salvation Army, and I went into town, hoping to make a little bit of money before the game started; at least enough for a second beer.Less Than Ten People Pass
I had been at the acoustically superior spot, playing (in the mode of E mixolodean, or blues) during the two hours leading up to the kickoff of the Fiesta Bowl, and saw less than ten people pass by. Four of them approached to pray over me, giving me crackers and water in the process, along with some literature, and an invitation to their church in Saraland, a place which is quite a walk from downtown, and which is named for Sara, I guess. They were in their early twenties, three guys and a girl.
They are Pentacostal(s) and told me that it was possible for me to live a "sin free" life, and that the beer (my second one) and cigarettes would then be a thing of the past, but not to think that they were judging me because of them. They used the scripture about the body being a temple. I was trying to remember the one about removing logs from your eye; but decided not to argue but to be grateful for their caring about me. 
I felt compelled to sip away and light up eventually, as they spoke to me for a while, and were probably making me a little nervous; me not knowing what they had up their sleeves. They put their hands on my shoulders and prayed simultaneously, concluding with "in the Name of Jesus," to which I said "Amen."
They encouraged me not to quit playing, but, after they walked off, I had very little desire to continue, and so, stopped and went to watch the game. It looked like there had been a mass abduction on Dauphin Street, anyways.
I Consider Giving Up Music
I'm considering the letting go of any musical aspirations which I might harbor, and to cultivate an attitude of indifference toward the craft. Last night, as I lay in the top secret, undisclosed spot, I could hear the blues guitarist at The Garage persisting with the 7 notes of the Blues, and it actually became tedious to listen to. I was at a loss to think of anything to contribute, if I were to carry my guitar over there and join the open mic event. I didn't feel like doing any of my songs; didn't think that I would enjoy doing them; didn't think that I could do them in a novel way, nor improvise anything, do to lack of any cause to further, and I wasn't envisioning the audience greatly appreciating them. I decided to just let it go, for now.
After the game, I had gone to the Shell and gotten a morning energy drink, and an evening "relaxation" drink, which contained Valerian root, kava kava and other herbs which, according to the warning label, make the operation of heavy machinery inadvisable after the consumption of which.
The relaxation drink made me feel a bit sedated, but not enough to put me to sleep until after the blues jam at The Garage had ended. I could hear it just loud enough so that I couldn't help trying to identify the songs that were being played. At times, I could identify every note by letter and octave, especially when the song was in the key of E (blues). ...now he's bending the third string at the fifth fret one half-step, to produce a C# note....I wish I could just drift off to sleep...
I had had only had two beers the entire evening.
"Let Me Know If You Change Your Mind"
This morning, I slept until about 11:30. I had been up watching the Auburn/Oregon game until the end. I wound up routing for the Oregon Ducks, as they seemed to be smaller and more reliant upon finesse, cleverness and trickery against the more "brutish" Auburn team. Being 144 pounds myself, I identified with the Ducks.
I went into the children's section of the library and looked for books similar to the one that I want to write. There was no shortage of them, which I take as a sign that they sell well. None of them which I saw bore the exact same title as the one that I am working on.
I then stumbled upon Tal Wilkenfeld and Jeff Beck, posted on some one's Facebook, just as I ponder quitting music...odd. Unfortunately I can't watch the video here at the library, as it is deemed "rated R" by the filtering software.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

No More Debby Ryan




I have finally developed the film in my disposable camera, and on it are actual pictures of the reclusive and camera shy Karrie.
I had been using pictures of Debby Ryan (above,) of Radio Disney fame, as a surrogate, after browsing the results of a Google search for "Latina girl," and choosing the nearest match, in my opinion, to Karrie, which I could find in less than 30 minutes. Karrie commented upon seeing her photo "I used to look like that." So, kiss Debby Ryan goodbye, and meet my angel, Karrie!
Strange, the way the picture of Jesus reflected the light of the flashbulb, or is it being illuminated by some other-worldly glow, emanating off of Karrie's countenance? Is that why she doesn't allow pictures to be taken of her. I snuck this one, when she was laughing so hard that she closed her eyes. She was LOL, for sure!


Sleeping Karrie
This picture was taken behind the tattoo place in Mandarin, where Karrie and I would wash up sometimes. Their sink has hot water.
Karrie fell asleep that afternoon, her hair still wet, and in her heart, a new found respect for a new beverage, which was only $1.39 per 24oz. can, for, this was also the day that we tried that new beverage, which is called "Earthquake Lager."
Earthquake Lager boasts a 12% alcohol content.
The two dollars were left in Karrie's shoe, in case she desired an aftershock, upon waking. I left her there, so I could go off and play. I felt that she was safe, because one scream would bring men armed with tattoo guns to her immediate rescue.

This one was taken at the ramp, by the hospital, where, I played on one side, and Karrie "flew" her sign on the other. She looks like she is brimming with love, even though I think this was a day when she made only 2 dollars.


I had made about 40 that day, as I recall, and had probably just assured her that we would be alright, and that I still loved her, even though she made only 2 dollars...I actually miss the mutual struggle which we went through, with her rising up one day, and I on another, so that we complemented each other, unfailingly.

I cropped the picture, to cut out most of the scars on her arms and hands, from when she was almost burned alive, as an infant. Visible though, is the scar on her cheek, a result of a knife attack. This occurred during a scuffle which stemmed from something involving Karrie's man at the time.
I'd like to think that she would go to battle for me, also.






I think I was upset with Karrie (left) and this was probably the night of one of our arguments over one of us eating all of our food.

One More Before Lunch
I thought the above (right) one was sweet, though she may have been a little "tipsy" at the time of its taking.
It's raining cats and dogs on Mobile right now.
Suddenly, a plate of something with coleslaw, doesn't seem so important.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Life Without Karrie, More Assuredly This Time


Karrie goes to court in two days. I think she is showing me mercy and looking out for my emotional well being by being very hard to live with, lately. She knows that it will be easier for me to move on and to not bother to wait for her (a life that she feels will be better for me, but is at a loss to bring about herself) if she shows her worst side to me in these final days before her court date, and makes it easier for me to get over her. I think she is an old pro at things like that.
Money Has Been Good
The money has been good, throughout these holidays. I expected a drop-off on the Monday after the holiday weekend, but, there were plenty of tourists milling about and dropping enough money in my case to pay for expenses. Karrie has had less lucrative outings, which seem to have been inversely proportional to the amounts of money that I had made with the guitar. Last night, I put in the $3 and change, which she was in want of in acquiring a fifth of whiskey. She was sitting up, drinking it, before sunrise, and then, I was treated to the sound of her stammering about how her sister used to tell her that all her husband did was sleep with her (her sister) now, and, that Karrie should give them the first baby, which she had at age 14, so that it could be raised along with another baby, which was on its way, courtesy of her husband's just sleeping with Karrie's sister, "now." Karrie's husband is due to be released from prison in 2 years, whereupon, he will be under "house arrest" for 6 years. I forgot which one of them he killed or mutilated; it's confusing...
It is a story which I have often fallen asleep to, one in series, which I have informally dubbed "The 'early teen years' stories."
Then, in a soliloquy, she expounded upon her belief that nobody wants her, ever did, nor ever would or could, and then punctuated it by saying that she was tempted to put all her stuff in her bags and "hitch-hike" somewhere. She mentioned Mexico.
This was a time when I could had said "Baby, let's get out of here, you and me. Lets hop a freight train with only our tent and our can opener, and a box of Kleenex, and just go wherever it takes us and start a new life. We are inseperable!."
I haven't said it because of some tiny voice, which I hear when I lay in the sun in the morning and clear my mind, focusing upon my breathing. Also, because I think she was prompting me for it, and I just didn't have it in me, and don't like to be prompted.
This morning, I had a biblical verse ("Behold, I stand at the door and knock") in my head as I lay there. I thought "Come on in; it's open."
Then, Karrie came out of the tent and sat down next to me and asked me if I would go and buy her a 4 pack. (I thought that Jesus drank wine...)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Today is the day that I broke away from Karrie.
Last night was a terrible tip night. It was also a terrible panhandling night for Karrie.
I felt that I could go and sleep somewhere and not worry about having to wake up broke and having someone else's "well-being" on my shoulders and my conscious. I can deal with going without, but to have another person suffering along next to me and to feel impotent in helping, makes me uncomfortable. I guess I am like the cat, who crawls off into the woods to die by itself.
Karrie, also broke, felt that I wouldn't want her to be around, as she wouldn't be able to provide me with anything. She doesn't feel that her company counts as anything, I guess.
Up With The Son
I was up with the sun and read my bible a bit and then meditated. I asked Jesus for strength.
The guy who owns the gallery and gift shop, and who lets us (and let Henry Black before us) sleep on his porch, arrived at his usual hour, just as the sun crests the building across the street and starts to bake us awake.
He must have noticed the absence of Karrie. He said "It looks like you're struggling to wake up this morning." I told him that I was just trying to figure out what was most important to do first "today."
"That's good," he said, and then went inside his store..
Henry Black's nephew, William sleeps under the store. I think they are Christians, he and the store owner, too.
Community Service
I finally pursued the option of doing community service in lieau of paying the 100 dollar fine(s) which I have accrued. More than one of them was myself "taking the rap" for Karrie, when there was an open beer between us. I called the Eagle Lodge and was told to show up there in the evening with my paperwork to do community service, and keep the jailor at a safe distance.
The other option would be to leave St. Augustine and have the fines hanging over my head forever.